Intimacy: Make it rain

Make it rain

By howler - 15/02/2011 06:44 - United States

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 295

You deserved it 64 693

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Same thing different taste

By gas money - 22/11/2015 04:34 - United States - Reno

Today, I found $100 on the ground. My mom is taking $40 because she was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 849

You deserved it 3 492

Addict

By Anonymous - 23/09/2013 02:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mother asked me if she could borrow $200. Being the lovely daughter I am, I gave her my bank card to withdraw it herself. She gambled it away and maxed my bank account out. I had $1500 saved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 733

You deserved it 20 851

By Anonymous - 07/05/2016 01:40 - United States - Walnut

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 274

You deserved it 2 444

By SilverAuthor - 29/07/2016 22:53 - United States - Detroit

Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 336

You deserved it 2 063

Kinky

By Keesha - 18/03/2021 19:30 - United States - Loveland

Today, my mother bitched at me for spending $200 on a new clothes I needed for my new job as a bank teller. I then received a notification on my phone that my mother's lingerie order was shipped. She spent $800 on teddies and crotchless panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 151

You deserved it 76

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 05:28 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 075

You deserved it 2 788

How could you?

By Anonymous - 29/03/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 682

By Isabell - 06/02/2010 05:31 - Australia

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 747

You deserved it 5 862

By ikungfuyou - 27/12/2011 07:11 - United States

Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 708

You deserved it 10 244

By Anonymous - 21/04/2009 18:12 - United States

Today, I was running the register at my work and this big lady pulls her wad of cash out of her bra and hands it to me. The bills she handed me were moist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 281

You deserved it 3 865

x_Cupcakes 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 12:08

lol. Next time you want to do something weird, lock the door.

hideyoself 4

Tuesday 15 February 2011 12:06

You cheep bastard

Comments

epic13 12

Tuesday 15 February 2011 13:40

I hope this will become an illustrated FML. But only if you were naked.

zniltiaC 19

Tuesday 15 February 2011 13:41

Wtf where you doing that for?

Jessephine 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 13:41

omg,bills which r full with bacteria...

tomahto 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 13:47

like a boss.

ipwnlosers 4

Tuesday 15 February 2011 13:55

Let's have a sexy party!

enlitenbank 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 13:56

Disgusting. Think of all the asshole, ****, snot, shit, piss, sperm etc etc etc residue that are on money

muchagente 5

Tuesday 15 February 2011 13:59

because of people like op

Serafie 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 14:05

Wait, what the shit. People rub money on themselves? Like, they get sexual pleasure out of it? That's ******' weird.

RavenNight 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 14:08

u have no life

TheNewGuy03 28

Tuesday 15 February 2011 14:10

in a word: NO. |the kid|

valalvax 13

Tuesday 15 February 2011 14:30

I assume the 400 is from his first paycheck ever, you lucky bastard, that's like 12 dollars an hour...

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The Top

Today, yet another first date was a total waste of my time as he was yet another creep more interested in the experience of fucking a dwarf than he was in getting to know me as a person. I’m just gonna stay single forever. It’s not like I’ve always dreamed of marriage or anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 615

You deserved it 97

Today, I'm being forced to keep an eye on my cousin, who is getting married in the morning. He’s tried to marry his fiancé before and chickened out at the altar. For some reason she forgave him and now the bride's mother has made it my job to watch him like a hawk until after the "I Do-s", or else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 84

The Top

Today, I had to sit and listen as a customer explained to me how we are all being controlled by chemtrails, how all the rich people are ruling the world from underground bunkers, how Michelle Obama is a man, how COVID was a hoax, and that the world is flat. I hate being in customer service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 134

Today, my fiancé and I finally had the house to ourselves for the night for the first time in MONTHS, and we don't know when we will get a chance like this again. So, he texts his buddy to play zombies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 496

You deserved it 246

Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 178

You deserved it 6 454

Today, I got bad food poisoning. Again. The first time I thought it was the stomach bug that’s going around, so once I felt better, I proceeded to eat leftover food that actually got me sick the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 643

Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 407

You deserved it 32 981

Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 539

You deserved it 1 848