Intimacy: Make it rain

Make it rain

By howler - 15/02/2011 06:44 - United States

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 295

You deserved it 64 693

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By gas money - 22/11/2015 04:34 - United States - Reno

Today, I found $100 on the ground. My mom is taking $40 because she was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 849

You deserved it 3 492

Addict

By Anonymous - 23/09/2013 02:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mother asked me if she could borrow $200. Being the lovely daughter I am, I gave her my bank card to withdraw it herself. She gambled it away and maxed my bank account out. I had $1500 saved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 733

You deserved it 20 851

By Anonymous - 07/05/2016 01:40 - United States - Walnut

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 274

You deserved it 2 444

By SilverAuthor - 29/07/2016 22:53 - United States - Detroit

Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 336

You deserved it 2 063

Kinky

By Keesha - 18/03/2021 19:30 - United States - Loveland

Today, my mother bitched at me for spending $200 on a new clothes I needed for my new job as a bank teller. I then received a notification on my phone that my mother's lingerie order was shipped. She spent $800 on teddies and crotchless panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 151

You deserved it 76

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 05:28 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 075

You deserved it 2 788

How could you?

By Anonymous - 29/03/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 682

By Isabell - 06/02/2010 05:31 - Australia

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 747

You deserved it 5 862

By ikungfuyou - 27/12/2011 07:11 - United States

Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 708

You deserved it 10 244

By Anonymous - 21/04/2009 18:12 - United States

Today, I was running the register at my work and this big lady pulls her wad of cash out of her bra and hands it to me. The bills she handed me were moist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 281

You deserved it 3 865

x_Cupcakes 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 12:08

lol. Next time you want to do something weird, lock the door.

hideyoself 4

Tuesday 15 February 2011 12:06

You cheep bastard

Comments

Bmf901 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 6:11

some of that money has been between the butt cracks of nasty strippers!

blink831forever 13

Wednesday 16 February 2011 6:16

OP I have to ask why were you rubbing money all over yourself?

SmAsHiNwInDoWs 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 6:17

look on the brightside. you have $400!!!!

anggface 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 7:32

hahaha!! (: yesss

therealdavid 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 8:04

He must be Jewish.

bitterfaceplant 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 8:33

win

CartoonZack 3

Wednesday 16 February 2011 9:08

Now knowing people do this, I'm currently afraid where my money is coming from.

Ali_Bamf 3

Friday 18 February 2011 7:54

That's what debit cards are for!

LadyEmi 15

Wednesday 17 July 2013 8:23

Exactly XD

nickjackgreene 2

Wednesday 16 February 2011 14:18

dude get it in singles!!! haha

Fuckyeahconstanz 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 14:58

Dude what the hell were u doing

MrGordon 9

Wednesday 16 February 2011 21:11

I have to say, thats awesome! I always wanted to do that! I also want to fill a pool with coins and swimm in the pool XP

Keywords

Animals Cats Cute Awkward Family Intimacy Sex Alcohol Coworkers Work Health Psychology Mental health Relationship advice Weird Love AITA Miscellaneous Neighbours Cops Stressed out Parents Scary Birthday Dogs Cake Cars Embarrassing Transportation Cooking

The Top

Today, I awoke to my husband donning a gorilla mask in the middle of the night. My kids have been staying in a tent out back for the past few nights, and have complained of a "monster" scaring them. I told them that it was their imagination. My husband says he gets a kick out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 621

You deserved it 6 969

...

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 4

The Top

Today, I had to close my eyes in shame and pretend I didn't exist, as my mom gave a cop a good look at her wrinkled, prune-like cleavage and tried to convince him that the speed limit is optional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 711

You deserved it 1 847

Today, I saw a wasp on the ground, apparently injured and unable to fly. It was being mobbed by ants and looked certain to die, so I stamped on the ants to save its life. At this point it sprung up, stung me, then flew off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 563

You deserved it 28 171

Today, while volunteering at a local museum, I politely told an elderly gentleman to have a nice day. He responded by yelling "NO" and storming off. Everyone looked at me like I was some sort of monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 802

You deserved it 3 241

Today, I get as much time with the woman of my dreams as I do with my children: One day, every two weeks. She lives with me. They don't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 181

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 141

You deserved it 3 736

Today, I sent a group text round to my friends asking if they wanted to hang out sometime. One of my friends thought this was aimed directly at her and confessed her love for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 830

You deserved it 8 192