Intimacy: Make it rain - FML

Make it rain

By howler - 15/02/2011 06:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 295

You deserved it 64 693

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

By gas money - 22/11/2015 04:34 - United States - Reno

Today, I found $100 on the ground. My mom is taking $40 because she was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 849

You deserved it 3 492

Addict

By Anonymous - 23/09/2013 02:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mother asked me if she could borrow $200. Being the lovely daughter I am, I gave her my bank card to withdraw it herself. She gambled it away and maxed my bank account out. I had $1500 saved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 733

You deserved it 20 851

By Anonymous - 07/05/2016 01:40 - United States - Walnut

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 274

You deserved it 2 444

By SilverAuthor - 29/07/2016 22:53 - United States - Detroit

Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 336

You deserved it 2 063

Kinky

By Keesha - 18/03/2021 19:30 - United States - Loveland

Today, my mother bitched at me for spending $200 on a new clothes I needed for my new job as a bank teller. I then received a notification on my phone that my mother's lingerie order was shipped. She spent $800 on teddies and crotchless panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 151

You deserved it 76

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 05:28 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 075

You deserved it 2 788

How could you?

By Anonymous - 29/03/2024 10:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 682

By Isabell - 06/02/2010 05:31 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 747

You deserved it 5 862

By ikungfuyou - 27/12/2011 07:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 708

You deserved it 10 244

By Anonymous - 21/04/2009 18:12 - United States

Today, I was running the register at my work and this big lady pulls her wad of cash out of her bra and hands it to me. The bills she handed me were moist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 281

You deserved it 3 865

Next

Top comments

x_Cupcakes 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 12:08

lol. Next time you want to do something weird, lock the door.

hideyoself 4

Tuesday 15 February 2011 12:06

You cheep bastard

Comments

yake12 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 18:24

C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER

savfd645 7

Tuesday 15 February 2011 18:24

Gold digger!!

blahblahblah5_x 13

Tuesday 15 February 2011 18:35

Ew that's so vile, YDI. P.S you have no idea who's touched the cash before, I mean some other creeps may've rubbed the cash all over them .. and who's to say they were wearing clothes ?

someone234 5

Tuesday 15 February 2011 20:02

Well, I guess I wont be taking a holiday in Ohio any time soon, knowing theres a bit of you on every $20 bill

Jackmangold 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 21:02

having $400 to spare isn't anything that warrants an FML lol

VeeEight 5

Tuesday 15 February 2011 21:06

hahahhahahahahahahahahahahahHaha!!!!!!!

rattusrattus 18

Tuesday 15 February 2011 21:37

Hilarious mental image there. Also, I hope you like your priapism. Some people use money to snort cocaine, and when absorbed into the genatalia can cause prolonged state of arousal. As in, down the doctors, never get it up again after the operation state of arousal. Still, the image is hilarious.

fAiRyMaN3 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 23:38

Now how the **** is that an FML?! I hate it when people ruin the point of **** my life and make it bless my life compared to the kind of day I'd have when seeing some one complain about stupid shit

mazesm 11

Tuesday 15 February 2011 23:43

I'll feel bad for the people who get the money next.

TH3_B345T 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 0:01

hahahahahhahaha

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Weird My ex Shopping Awkward Racism Family Relatable Love AITA Kids Cheating Work Break-ups Animals Cats Cute Sex Intimacy Relationship advice Coworkers Alcohol Health Mental health Psychology Cops Neighbours Scary Parents Stressed out

The Top

Today, while working as a receptionist at a health clinic a woman came to settle her account. Before she left, she held out her closed palm and asked if I could put something in the bin for her. I held out my hand and watched many bits of chewed fingernails land in my palm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 620

You deserved it 2 723

Today, as my husband normally initiates sex and sometimes I want to but always chicken out, I was feeling brave and did so. After he came, he continued working on me and I farted. I embarrassingly apologized and he said it was ok and kept going. I then continued to fart, and I had to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 396

You deserved it 280

The Top

Today, out of pure boredom, I decided to listen to the soundtrack from a musical. When I got to the love song, I thought about my anxiety and where I stood with this one guy, and ended up crying to myself. The musical was Jesus Christ Superstar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 266

Today, I quit my job after two years. Now I have my crazy boss sitting out in front of my house, telling me she wants to work things out. She's been there all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 489

You deserved it 4 008

Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 351

You deserved it 5 918

Today, I told a cashier I always bullshit with that I was getting a new tattoo. She shook her head and said, "Honey, don't get a tattoo. You'll look like a whore." I already have five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 873

You deserved it 36 530

Today, I went to feed my neighbor's cat while he was out of town. The cat was sick, so part of my job was to give it a pill each time I came. Cats don't like swallowing pills. My neighbor forgot to mention that his cat wasn't declawed. I was wearing shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 543

You deserved it 6 271

Today, I tried to have a serious talk with my sister about how she feeds her kids. The 5-year-old is 75 lbs and the 7-year-old is nearing 100. She scoffed and said, “What do you know? You can’t even have kids!” No, I can’t have kids, but I am in school to become a pediatrician. Pretty sure I’m right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 696

You deserved it 243