Love language

By Anonymous - 07/05/2015 02:12 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend complained that I only respond to his flirtations with exasperation and annoyance. Apparently, grunting and humping my leg like an ill-mannered dog while I'm trying to wash dishes is his way of flirting. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 376
You deserved it 4 091
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Top comments

mrlawlor7777 26

Smack him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper next time and say "bad Fido".

268 8
Lorenzo1102 21

Apparently I've been doing it wrong for the last 4 years

237 4

Comments

AGB10 19

You mean that isn't a turn on for you as much as it is for us boys?

101 6
starile 19

If he wanted her attention, maybe he should be doing the dishes.

46 7
SMHsohard 22

At least he doesn't do it when she's taking something out of the oven, like mine likes to.

25 3
IAmzephyr 22

great logic 24. do dishes, get sex

21 2
dannnngthatsux 19

#37, is good logic. always reward good behavior.

11 0
Mightytall 35

At least he isn't going full on caveman on you. Humping and grunting is comparatively nice :-)

8 52
SadLittleTurtle 11

In all honesty, I don't see why #2 got downvoted so much. It's kind of true... as soon as OP said 'humping and grunting', I imagined a cave man... you guys who are downvoting are too harsh.

7 6
iLike2Teabag 27

Throw the dog a bone, then. Or rather, let him throw you a bone.

18 47
spatula232 25

Can you imagine if this was the common practice for flirting?

76 2
91hayek 31

Well we're pretty close to primal flirting already aka twerking and stuff. In the animal kingdom they call that PRESENTING.

44 3
mrlawlor7777 26

Smack him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper next time and say "bad Fido".

268 8
Cass_x 22

Made me laugh really hard. Thanks, I needed it :D

12 19
mrlawlor7777 26

You're welcome. I was also thinking about positive reinforcement for good flirting, aka rub his belly and call him a good boy.

41 2
Exaspera 54

He'd think she was taking him up on the offer.

13 1
NickEd 11

Next time tell him to sit and call him a bad dog

23 2
KwtWaffles 15

spray some water on him and yell at him "keep calm boy!"

11 9