Love: Lonely - FML

Lonely

By Anonymous - 13/01/2012 03:50 - United States

Today, I left my empty shower running so I could pretend I didn't still live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 688

You deserved it 29 960

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Same thing different taste

By liynda - 06/05/2011 01:49 - Canada

Today, I knocked on the door of the bathroom to make sure nobody was in there before I walked in. Then I remembered I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 066

You deserved it 15 560

By lonesome - 15/12/2014 03:22 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 548

You deserved it 6 239

By wtfisgoingon - 28/04/2013 10:30 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 349

You deserved it 3 695

By Username - 14/03/2011 06:53

Today, my ex-girlfriend moved out. I came back to a sparsely furnished home, she even took the shower head, my beard trimmer, and the soap from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 086

You deserved it 5 656

By Fire_Crotch - 14/08/2010 06:27 - Canada

Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 855

You deserved it 48 715

By youlovewaffles - 03/08/2019 04:00

Today, I was talking to myself in the shower, pretending I was Oprah. After I got out, my little brother asked if I was singing in the bathroom. I almost said no, but admitting to singing seemed a lot less embarrassing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 262

You deserved it 425

By HomeAlone - 24/04/2016 04:45 - United States

Today, I went into the bathroom and got angry upon finding that once again, no one had bothered to put on a new roll of toilet paper. And then I remembered that I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 877

You deserved it 21 287

Time to move

By Anonymous - 05/05/2021 06:01

Today, after taking a shower, I realised that my landlord was peeking in the whole time through broken ventilator. Once he tried to get into my room, using his keys. I couldn't tell the landlord's wife, as I didn't have any proof so I left the house, even though my rent was long due. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 87

By Anonymous - 13/05/2012 15:12 - United States - Monson

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 906

You deserved it 4 059

Brain fart

By jonjon - 13/06/2010 13:16 - United States

Today, after spending the evening with friends, I went home and realized that the living room light was on. Thinking someone was robbing me, I hid behind a bush. I got impatient and crept up to the door. Then I remembered that I'd left the light on before I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 954

You deserved it 47 290

Next

Top comments

LawSixx 11

Friday 13 January 2012 8:52

What a way to waste water as well.

kareltje 17

Friday 13 January 2012 8:52

WTF? Don't be so selfish! Think about the environment, dude! ;) I'll get me coat...

Comments

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Friday 13 January 2012 19:21

Wow your water bill will be through the roof and for a totally pathetic reason. YDI

AllyyK 9

Friday 13 January 2012 19:28

I think OP is probably the creeper who took his date to meet his parents on the 2nd date and told her that he loves her, and she wrote an FML about it. It all makes sense! He's a creep and that's why he lives alone lol. So now he has to pretend he's not alone because she stopped answering his calls. Haha it all fits!

2amkid 0

Friday 13 January 2012 19:46

thats so sad

sjhill 32

Friday 13 January 2012 19:53

Such a waste of water! Go out and find someone!

Tdevonner 0

Friday 13 January 2012 20:09

I never understood how it was possible to wastr water...i mean from back in the day didnt adam n eve drink the water, piss it out, n then half got filtered thru the ground n the other half thru evaporation n now we're still drinking their piss? Where is the water disappearing to?

bizarre_ftw 21

Friday 13 January 2012 20:35

The environment thanks you

sophia_melo 11

Friday 13 January 2012 20:45

Can't you find a more ecological way to pretend that?

BreeLikesTea 0

Friday 13 January 2012 21:07

have fun with that water bill

megotswag 0

Friday 13 January 2012 21:25

Aww go buy some cats to keep you company for a while.

Fylminesawsome 5

Friday 13 January 2012 23:14

How freaked out would you have been if the shower suddenly stopped, or some guy came out of the bathroom just wearing a towel??

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The Top

Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 486

You deserved it 4 934

Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 141

You deserved it 11 901

The Top

Today, my mother and I went to lunch and there is a really cute waiter that works at the diner. I requested him to wait on us like I sometimes do. While we were waiting to be seated, I heard one waiter say to the cute one, "Ya, the creepy one is back, and this time she brought her mom!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 921

You deserved it 70 663

Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 310

You deserved it 3 675

Today, the 9th grade dean called me into his office to talk. He asked me if I was new because it seemed like I was having trouble making friends. I've been going to the same school, with the same people, since kindergarten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 446

You deserved it 3 367

Today, the guy who sexually assaulted me when I was a child is over to have coffee with my mother. She says that it's OK, because God wouldn't want her to turn away someone who has no family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 138

You deserved it 139

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 756

You deserved it 12 461

Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 480

You deserved it 9 207