Love: Lazy ass

Lazy ass

By crizzy - 24/04/2011 00:08 - United States

Today, I dislocated my arm while trying to escape from underneath a flipped over kayak. Who saved me? My two brothers-in-law. Who didn't? My husband, because his "feet were hurting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 698

You deserved it 4 244

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Same thing different taste

Nature is healing

By KeysToHappiness - 16/08/2015 12:39 - United States - Roseville

Today, I was kayaking with my family for my birthday when we tipped over while going down a rocky cascade. My husband badly cut up his arm, and my car keys and my phone both went for a swim and never returned. Great birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 461

You deserved it 8 668

By Daddy - 02/06/2016 08:04 - United States - Lawrenceville

Today, I fell off of the deck in my backyard, which wouldn't have been that bad if my drunk, idiot brother hadn't jumped off behind me yelling, "FINISH HIM!" while delivering a bone-crushing body slam. He is fine. I, however, am currently getting a cast for a broken arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 466

You deserved it 697

By mytoehurts - 26/06/2015 13:09 - Canada - Ayr

Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 416

You deserved it 2 864

By Anonymous - 06/11/2010 11:45 - Australia

Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 320

You deserved it 5 595

Kinda sus, dude

By Owie - 14/06/2023 12:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I had to go to the ER to treat a sprain on my left arm. What caused it? A phone. You read that right. A phone. Particularly, my husband’s phone. It was on the table where I was standing and with one swift motion, he yanked my arm, pulled me out of the way, and snatched the thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 91

Pirate move

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff

Today, I was kayaking with my friend. We figured it'd be awesome if I jumped from my kayak straight into his. Sounded good in theory. One flipped kayak, a pair of lost glasses, and a humiliating swim back to shore later, I'm starting to think it wasn't the best idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 716

You deserved it 26 803

By wintersoldier - 14/07/2015 02:36 - Austria

Today, while trying to comfort my little brother who just injured his leg, I tripped and sprained my ankle. At least he was amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 054

You deserved it 2 367

By letmediealready - 22/12/2017 19:00

Today I saved my wife's puppy from drowning in an icy pond and I ended up in the ER struggling to breath from the water in my lungs. When my wife showed up to see me, I caught her flirting with my doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 756

You deserved it 337

By Rellies - 02/05/2019 02:00

Today, my husband is finally fully recovered from getting decompression sickness during our scuba diving vacation. Today is also the day I snapped my femur in half while skiing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 067

You deserved it 281

Saved!

By No good deed... - 29/01/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I was in the kitchen with my mom, who is severely disabled and can barely walk. She suddenly slipped on a puddle of water, so I instinctively grappled her from behind to save her. It took me a moment to realize my hands were accidentally cupping her breasts. She then slipped again and took both of us down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 94

Henningdale 5

Sunday 24 April 2011 9:17

Looks like u chose the wrong one..

AKALurch 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 9:09

at least u were saved 

Comments

Henningdale 5

Sunday 24 April 2011 9:17

Looks like u chose the wrong one..

amandajlucas2015 2

Friday 23 March 2012 1:02

Agreed

fatgirllovesfml 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 9:17

oh snap..no sex for the husband tonight ;(. that's sad.

Failed_Again 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 16:35

That picture is GROSERO.

mrjmaster1234 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 23:28

ewww

Livinia 11

Sunday 24 April 2011 9:19

What a pussy. At least someone bothered to help.

Failed_Again 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 21:10

You all liked this post, because of her picture, right?

emsiti 6

Monday 25 April 2011 5:37

how did you know

rickilynn 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 9:22

Shitty Buzz Bro.

Sniper_Fidelis 1

Sunday 24 April 2011 14:55

No. Just..no.

sweet_candy_ 17

Sunday 24 April 2011 9:35

It's still nice to know that your Brother-in-laws care.

t3hpwnz4rz 4

Monday 25 April 2011 5:49

brothers in law what you just said would mean one brother multiple marriages

dreamering 16

Sunday 24 April 2011 9:48

I guess your brothers-in-law deserve a big reward for saving your life, if you know what I mean. As far as your husband, you can let him use his hand for some time

jjpavo 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 9:50

husbands/wives suck lol. did you know over 80% of ppl divorce?

DjeePee 24

Sunday 24 April 2011 11:34

Did you know that that's not important right now? Whether it was OP's husband, fiancé or boyfriend, fact is that he, the person that should love OP the most, didn't do a thing when she needed help. But I forgot that bashing marriage is typical behaviour for a 15 year old. The only thing I can think about to explain the husband's behaviour, is that he can't swim and didn't told that to OP. But then again, why should he kayak?

docscientist 9

Sunday 24 April 2011 11:36

I thought it was >9000

Kukua 5

Sunday 24 April 2011 11:59

Did you know that 80% of statistics online are made up? Yours is a perfect example. The divorce rate in the US varies from 5% to 75% depending on what age group and which marriage (1st, 2nd, or 3rd) you're looking at. Overall however, 40-50% of marriages end in divorce; not 80%.