Love: Lazy ass

Lazy ass

By crizzy - 24/04/2011 00:08 - United States

Today, I dislocated my arm while trying to escape from underneath a flipped over kayak. Who saved me? My two brothers-in-law. Who didn't? My husband, because his "feet were hurting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 698

You deserved it 4 244

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Same thing different taste

Nature is healing

By KeysToHappiness - 16/08/2015 12:39 - United States - Roseville

Today, I was kayaking with my family for my birthday when we tipped over while going down a rocky cascade. My husband badly cut up his arm, and my car keys and my phone both went for a swim and never returned. Great birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 461

You deserved it 8 668

By Daddy - 02/06/2016 08:04 - United States - Lawrenceville

Today, I fell off of the deck in my backyard, which wouldn't have been that bad if my drunk, idiot brother hadn't jumped off behind me yelling, "FINISH HIM!" while delivering a bone-crushing body slam. He is fine. I, however, am currently getting a cast for a broken arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 466

You deserved it 697

By mytoehurts - 26/06/2015 13:09 - Canada - Ayr

Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 416

You deserved it 2 864

By Anonymous - 06/11/2010 11:45 - Australia

Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 320

You deserved it 5 595

Kinda sus, dude

By Owie - 14/06/2023 12:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I had to go to the ER to treat a sprain on my left arm. What caused it? A phone. You read that right. A phone. Particularly, my husband’s phone. It was on the table where I was standing and with one swift motion, he yanked my arm, pulled me out of the way, and snatched the thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 91

Pirate move

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff

Today, I was kayaking with my friend. We figured it'd be awesome if I jumped from my kayak straight into his. Sounded good in theory. One flipped kayak, a pair of lost glasses, and a humiliating swim back to shore later, I'm starting to think it wasn't the best idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 716

You deserved it 26 803

By wintersoldier - 14/07/2015 02:36 - Austria

Today, while trying to comfort my little brother who just injured his leg, I tripped and sprained my ankle. At least he was amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 054

You deserved it 2 367

By letmediealready - 22/12/2017 19:00

Today I saved my wife's puppy from drowning in an icy pond and I ended up in the ER struggling to breath from the water in my lungs. When my wife showed up to see me, I caught her flirting with my doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 756

You deserved it 337

By Rellies - 02/05/2019 02:00

Today, my husband is finally fully recovered from getting decompression sickness during our scuba diving vacation. Today is also the day I snapped my femur in half while skiing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 067

You deserved it 281

Saved!

By No good deed... - 29/01/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I was in the kitchen with my mom, who is severely disabled and can barely walk. She suddenly slipped on a puddle of water, so I instinctively grappled her from behind to save her. It took me a moment to realize my hands were accidentally cupping her breasts. She then slipped again and took both of us down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 94

Henningdale 5

Sunday 24 April 2011 9:17

Looks like u chose the wrong one..

AKALurch 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 9:09

at least u were saved 

Comments

zamyr 0

Monday 25 April 2011 4:56

haha thats mean well his feet did hurt lol :)

lexxyolivia 0

Monday 25 April 2011 5:00

ydi for marrying a pussy

shaniecerb 0

Monday 25 April 2011 5:27

it aint like she was dying.and his foot wasnt workin!how could he save her anyway?she can pop her arm back in place so whatev

Fulcherw_fml 0

Monday 25 April 2011 6:26

Should have pressed x first

xgetxbentx 13

Monday 25 April 2011 8:22

maybe this is a dumb question, I've never been kyacking though, but why didn't you just swim out from underneath it?

awesomeloser14 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 7:21

well they are pretty heavy (I flipped over in the kayak once) but yah she could have done that unless the current was too strong

aloha31 6

Monday 25 April 2011 8:34

Your husband sounds like a real ******

13yearoldboy 0

Monday 25 April 2011 10:04

hey ur alive and well at least

jleep 0

Monday 25 April 2011 10:47

u should leave your husband for one of your brother in laws. thatll show him!!

Brennanrulez 0

Monday 25 April 2011 17:29

If the husband didnt help because his feet hurt, they were on land. and if you cant get out fromunder a kayak your the weakest person ever...

iwadasn 32

Friday 28 September 2012 20:33

Right, because everyone knows that sore feet magically stop hurting as soon as you get into a kayak.

MrJentipede 2

Monday 25 April 2011 18:57

You married him, can only blame yourself.

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I agree, your life sucks 1 335

You deserved it 90

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I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 2 503

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I agree, your life sucks 24 374

You deserved it 2 931

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I agree, your life sucks 10 112

You deserved it 40 560

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I agree, your life sucks 43 180

You deserved it 4 208