Love: Lazy ass

Lazy ass

By crizzy - 24/04/2011 00:08 - United States

Today, I dislocated my arm while trying to escape from underneath a flipped over kayak. Who saved me? My two brothers-in-law. Who didn't? My husband, because his "feet were hurting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 698

You deserved it 4 244

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Same thing different taste

Nature is healing

By KeysToHappiness - 16/08/2015 12:39 - United States - Roseville

Today, I was kayaking with my family for my birthday when we tipped over while going down a rocky cascade. My husband badly cut up his arm, and my car keys and my phone both went for a swim and never returned. Great birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 461

You deserved it 8 668

By Daddy - 02/06/2016 08:04 - United States - Lawrenceville

Today, I fell off of the deck in my backyard, which wouldn't have been that bad if my drunk, idiot brother hadn't jumped off behind me yelling, "FINISH HIM!" while delivering a bone-crushing body slam. He is fine. I, however, am currently getting a cast for a broken arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 466

You deserved it 697

By mytoehurts - 26/06/2015 13:09 - Canada - Ayr

Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 416

You deserved it 2 864

By Anonymous - 06/11/2010 11:45 - Australia

Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 320

You deserved it 5 595

Kinda sus, dude

By Owie - 14/06/2023 12:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I had to go to the ER to treat a sprain on my left arm. What caused it? A phone. You read that right. A phone. Particularly, my husband’s phone. It was on the table where I was standing and with one swift motion, he yanked my arm, pulled me out of the way, and snatched the thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 91

Pirate move

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff

Today, I was kayaking with my friend. We figured it'd be awesome if I jumped from my kayak straight into his. Sounded good in theory. One flipped kayak, a pair of lost glasses, and a humiliating swim back to shore later, I'm starting to think it wasn't the best idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 716

You deserved it 26 803

By wintersoldier - 14/07/2015 02:36 - Austria

Today, while trying to comfort my little brother who just injured his leg, I tripped and sprained my ankle. At least he was amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 054

You deserved it 2 367

By letmediealready - 22/12/2017 19:00

Today I saved my wife's puppy from drowning in an icy pond and I ended up in the ER struggling to breath from the water in my lungs. When my wife showed up to see me, I caught her flirting with my doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 756

You deserved it 337

By Rellies - 02/05/2019 02:00

Today, my husband is finally fully recovered from getting decompression sickness during our scuba diving vacation. Today is also the day I snapped my femur in half while skiing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 067

You deserved it 281

Saved!

By No good deed... - 29/01/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I was in the kitchen with my mom, who is severely disabled and can barely walk. She suddenly slipped on a puddle of water, so I instinctively grappled her from behind to save her. It took me a moment to realize my hands were accidentally cupping her breasts. She then slipped again and took both of us down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 94

Henningdale 5

Sunday 24 April 2011 9:17

Looks like u chose the wrong one..

AKALurch 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 9:09

at least u were saved 

Comments

kickingbuckets 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 10:18

give him a cup of GTFO

lol_ironic_life 9

Sunday 24 April 2011 22:49

Agreed! He should have helped you OP. :)

bhfboss 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 10:27

Sorry to say it but your husband is a little biatch.

KartaOwnsYou 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 5:48

Lmfao

sublime2craig 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 10:29

Can't blame the guy he's not the dumbass who fliped a kyak.

racsistninja 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 14:48

um yes u can

ydi_4_suking 20

Sunday 24 April 2011 10:38

soft ****? fark?...dumbass

redbluegreen 40

Sunday 24 April 2011 10:50

You must have married the wrong one.

Lunchbox3 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 10:53

This is ****** status. Try breaking your arm while flipping a kayak because your other person wanted to feel the water while going through rapids. Yeah not that fun.

docscientist 9

Sunday 24 April 2011 11:45

This is sand in the ****** status. I knew someone who broke both legs, lost an eye, and was repeatedly violated by the local fish when his kayak flipped.

every1luvsvag 10

Sunday 24 April 2011 17:56

I've never lost a fight over a seal carcass...

Leoboy635 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 18:39

lmao!! 79 and 86 just won

wareagle2389 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 21:14

lol stfu get your own status pussy lips

jmayinc 3

Sunday 24 April 2011 21:38

79 I believe the biggest point of this FML was the fact that her husband wouldn't save her because his feet hurt. So sell your damn pointless story-telling to Spike TV or something.

leeshxx 3

Monday 25 April 2011 0:15

100 whinge elsewhere no one forced you to read it

Night7 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 11:04

maybe if you didn't suck at life you wouldn't need to be saved

jess6blondie9 2

Sunday 24 April 2011 11:14

If I were your husband I wouldn't have helped you either.

wareagle2389 0

Monday 25 April 2011 1:19

your dumb

KaskStunter 4

Sunday 24 April 2011 11:53

This is why brothers exist, to help. Your husband let his brothers to help him. If they weren't around, I'm sure he would have jumped right in.

boygeorgebaby 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 12:08

hey, nice husband ya got there! but at least your brothers in law don't hate you, they couldve left you to your watery grave - they sound like nice guys! ;) FYL, op. don't go anywhere dangerous with your husband - you never know what he won't save you from next - sharks, lions, cannibal head hunters, who knows?!