Intimacy: Follow the script

Follow the script

By ufhdafuhds - 19/03/2009 23:31 - Egypt

Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139 332

You deserved it 14 484

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Same thing different taste

By JoshuasGirl - 23/12/2013 19:13 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 074

You deserved it 6 437

Instructions

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 544

You deserved it 16 438

By disapointed girl - 28/12/2009 16:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 996

You deserved it 5 872

What is it?

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 130

You deserved it 8 212

ADHD brain

By Unknown - 18/10/2011 04:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He didn't know how to take off my bra and insisted that he'd figure it out on his own. He gave up a couple of seconds later and played video games instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 923

You deserved it 6 398

First time?

By Anonymous - 29/11/2013 11:56 - United States - Westminster

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 271

You deserved it 6 898

By Blueberrypicc - 13/08/2010 01:01 - United States

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 314

You deserved it 38 068

By Confused - 22/08/2012 16:33 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 754

You deserved it 4 406

By Anonymous - 15/01/2013 17:45 - United States

Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 767

You deserved it 6 652

By Kiddo - 02/09/2013 06:49 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 989

You deserved it 7 440

alex_vik 0

Friday 20 March 2009 9:02

LOL, that's a first. I wonder what it said.. 1. Finger her. 2. Put on condom 3. Insert penis 4. ???? 5. Profit!

Katylolo 0

Friday 20 March 2009 9:09

Okay, that's actually pretty sweet. I mean, he was so worried about doing everything just right for you that he didn't want his nerves to get in the way and forget what he was doing. But maybe this means you guys are a little too young to be doing this? At least be safe, use condoms.

Comments

Sa_Ku 0

Friday 20 March 2009 9:16

I thought mines was bad too. "Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have sex for our first time. Things were getting good until he had a hard time with the bra. He decided to quit, asking me "How do you take it off?" Its not that hard. FML."

texmas 0

Friday 20 March 2009 9:16

Well, you're both stupid, but at least he did something to remedy the situation.

Ldy_S_FTW 0

Friday 20 March 2009 9:16

thats so adorable...iono tho, if sum1 did that to me, i woulda tore up the paper and sed, "lemme do all the work, sit back and b prepared to get sashafied!" LOL

killer6969 16

Thursday 30 May 2013 2:14

Wtf did I just read?

jaymers 3

Friday 20 March 2009 9:17

it's kinda sweet that he cared enough about it to actually look up write down and follow directions for your first time together. he could've done like some other guys and gone in not even caring about knowing how to please you. give it time, you might laugh at this later.

bskaboom 0

Friday 20 March 2009 9:21

rofl this is dope! ive never heard of someone writing down what to do! How the hell do u forget what to do. 1st time guy lasts like 5 min. hurts girl, vicious circle. but wasnt it fun!

heavyop 0

Friday 20 March 2009 9:22

I can see this happening "hold on, I have to check my notes" 1. insert penis into ******...check 2. pull penis out of ******...check 3. repeat steps 1 and 2 Oh ok, that's the one i forgot"

heavyop 0

Friday 20 March 2009 9:23

I can see this happening "hold on, i have to check my notes" 1. insert penis...check 2. pull penis out...check 3. repeat steps 1 and 2 Oh ok, that's the one i forgot"

funkycloud7137 0

Friday 20 March 2009 9:24

If you want to get off then help the poor boy out. It's obvious he was worried about it and was trying to do his best. Don't be a dead fish, get on top and SHOW him what to do.