Intimacy: Follow the script

Follow the script

By ufhdafuhds - 19/03/2009 23:31 - Egypt

Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139 332

You deserved it 14 484

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Same thing different taste

By JoshuasGirl - 23/12/2013 19:13 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 074

You deserved it 6 437

Instructions

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 544

You deserved it 16 438

By disapointed girl - 28/12/2009 16:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 995

You deserved it 5 872

What is it?

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 130

You deserved it 8 212

ADHD brain

By Unknown - 18/10/2011 04:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He didn't know how to take off my bra and insisted that he'd figure it out on his own. He gave up a couple of seconds later and played video games instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 923

You deserved it 6 397

First time?

By Anonymous - 29/11/2013 11:56 - United States - Westminster

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 271

You deserved it 6 898

By Blueberrypicc - 13/08/2010 01:01 - United States

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 314

You deserved it 38 068

By Confused - 22/08/2012 16:33 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 754

You deserved it 4 406

By Anonymous - 15/01/2013 17:45 - United States

Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 767

You deserved it 6 652

By Kiddo - 02/09/2013 06:49 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 989

You deserved it 7 440

alex_vik 0

Friday 20 March 2009 9:02

LOL, that's a first. I wonder what it said.. 1. Finger her. 2. Put on condom 3. Insert penis 4. ???? 5. Profit!

Katylolo 0

Friday 20 March 2009 9:09

Okay, that's actually pretty sweet. I mean, he was so worried about doing everything just right for you that he didn't want his nerves to get in the way and forget what he was doing. But maybe this means you guys are a little too young to be doing this? At least be safe, use condoms.

Comments

WIDRR 0

Friday 20 March 2009 13:55

LOL # 1

davidtheday 0

Friday 20 March 2009 13:59

This kid obviously doesn't have an inkling of instinct in his body.

14nickel 0

Friday 20 March 2009 14:17

Girl- Today, It was my first time. It was going well until he needed to pull out...his notes. FML

lifesabeach1213 7

Friday 20 March 2009 14:19

Uhhh... instinct anyone?

mylifesucks_alot 0

Friday 20 March 2009 14:19

A little awkward, but who's first time wasn't? Its sweet that he actually cared enough to think about this ahead of time. And to all you saying get on top? As a girl, I can tell you that the first few times, there are things I would have loved to have done ...if it didn't feel like somebody was shoving a knife up my pu55y.

thekreeperkeeper 0

Friday 20 March 2009 14:34

LMAO @ #1 for using the business scheme the Underwear Gnomes used in South Park, that's ******* hilarious!! OP, get over it, you're getting laid, your life doesn't suck as bad as some.

mastercrammer 0

Friday 20 March 2009 14:35

Aww that is SO CUTE if it wasn't so tragic. But hey, it was his first time too! Give him some credit for wanting to make things great that he even researched about it.