Intimacy: Follow the script

Follow the script

By ufhdafuhds - 19/03/2009 23:31 - Egypt

Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139 332

You deserved it 14 484

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By JoshuasGirl - 23/12/2013 19:13 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 074

You deserved it 6 437

Instructions

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 544

You deserved it 16 438

By disapointed girl - 28/12/2009 16:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 995

You deserved it 5 872

What is it?

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 130

You deserved it 8 212

ADHD brain

By Unknown - 18/10/2011 04:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He didn't know how to take off my bra and insisted that he'd figure it out on his own. He gave up a couple of seconds later and played video games instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 923

You deserved it 6 398

First time?

By Anonymous - 29/11/2013 11:56 - United States - Westminster

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 271

You deserved it 6 898

By Blueberrypicc - 13/08/2010 01:01 - United States

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 314

You deserved it 38 068

By Confused - 22/08/2012 16:33 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 754

You deserved it 4 406

By Anonymous - 15/01/2013 17:45 - United States

Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 767

You deserved it 6 652

By Kiddo - 02/09/2013 06:49 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 989

You deserved it 7 440

alex_vik 0

Friday 20 March 2009 9:02

LOL, that's a first. I wonder what it said.. 1. Finger her. 2. Put on condom 3. Insert penis 4. ???? 5. Profit!

Katylolo 0

Friday 20 March 2009 9:09

Okay, that's actually pretty sweet. I mean, he was so worried about doing everything just right for you that he didn't want his nerves to get in the way and forget what he was doing. But maybe this means you guys are a little too young to be doing this? At least be safe, use condoms.

Comments

kelseysue92 0

Friday 20 March 2009 17:28

bahaha!! how are you guys like, 12?!? lol, you probably shouldn't be having sex

turtles1321 0

Wednesday 23 June 2010 7:20

probally are no reason not have sex early I feel left out of this world ={

bitchplease69_fml 0

Friday 20 March 2009 17:43

That's ******* great. Did he get it right the 2nd time?

sarahhha 0

Friday 20 March 2009 17:51

that's ******* adorable. at least he wanted to impress you.

rawchelllll 0

Friday 20 March 2009 17:52

AWWW thats kindof adorable, but not cute at the same time? If that happened to me, that'd totally kill it. But hopefully you can laugh about it later hahaha. "Remember when..." Poor guy must've really been nervous!

heyllo_fml 0

Friday 20 March 2009 17:53

hahahahahahhahahah. if you can't remember what to do next, you probably shouldn't be doing it at all. its kinda cute in a way though.

Yuuhi 0

Friday 20 March 2009 17:56

it's cute of him....totally douchbaggy of you....geez it only shows how much he wanted to perform good...and it's an FML for you? I really feel sorry for you...

Wooksta 0

Friday 20 March 2009 18:09

i cant believe people are this stupid... how do you not know what to do? its not that hard

J0HNYR0773N 0

Friday 20 March 2009 18:13

ROLFL WTF!? WAT RTARD R U FUKING!?

MonkeySpeaks 4

Friday 20 March 2009 18:18

#1 - really? I hope that isn't what guys think passes as good sex. And just fyi... to all the guys on here... learn how to use your hands better. "Fingering" doesn't feel good. It feels like you're being poked. No wonder men have no grasp on REAL foreplay - especially younger ones. Sigh.