Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19370) - you deserved it (2125)
On 10/02/2012 at 3:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my 5-year-old, overweight Siberian Husky tackled me because he thought that my lipstick was food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12181) - you deserved it (4071)
On 09/28/2012 at 6:53am - animals - by emilyhendrix0414 - United States
Today, I saw a dog trying to attack a man. I have experience working with aggressive dogs, so I pulled the dog off him and got it under control. The man punched me in the face for not having my dog on a leash. It wasn't my dog. I don't even own a dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21665) - you deserved it (1071)
On 09/27/2012 at 11:31am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my sister stopped by to visit me with her pet bird in tow. She asked me to hold the animal while she went to the toilet, and put it on my shoulder. It promptly shat on my only clean shirt and tore away a good deal of skin from my hand when I tried to get it off me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12999) - you deserved it (1680)
On 09/23/2012 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15219) - you deserved it (2039)
On 09/22/2012 at 10:12am - animals - by Grauncho - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found a tiny, featherless baby bird. I knew it was impossible, but I tried to keep it alive through the day. Before I could get it to the wildlife center, it died, and when I got all choked up over it, my mom started laughing at me and saying how "weak" I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17178) - you deserved it (2826)
On 09/18/2012 at 12:19pm - animals - by Birdwatcher (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I took my daughter to a pony ride at the fair. I paid to have her picture taken, and when we got home, I emailed it to my mom. She replied, disgustedly pointing out that the pretty little pony was displaying a pretty little penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11804) - you deserved it (1328)
On 09/17/2012 at 1:16pm - animals - by :,< - United States
Today, I saw a small bug on the wall, so I decided to send it straight to the insect afterlife by smashing it with a book. The book crushed it, and caused my clock to come free from the wall and crash down onto my TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7742) - you deserved it (14103) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 09/16/2012 at 6:50pm - animals - by romainmain - France (Champagne-Ardenne)
Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17196) - you deserved it (1255)
On 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found an enormous raccoon in my backyard. After a couple of nasty scratches, I finally managed to capture the filthy animal. After calling animal control to relocate it, I waited for hours to learn that "relocating" actually means releasing it into my front yard 10 feet away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14055) - you deserved it (2833)
On 09/13/2012 at 2:02am - animals - by anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my 2-year-old cat finally decided to start catching mice. Like any other cat would, she left it for me to find. I found it in the middle of the night, as my bare foot rolled its guts out of its ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18278) - you deserved it (1361)
On 09/12/2012 at 2:31pm - animals - by shadokis (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I bought some bitter-apple spray to stop my puppy chewing on everything. Later, I found out how effective it was, when I tried to eat a sandwich, and gagged at the horrifying taste on my hands. My dog seems unaffected, and continues to chew the table legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13259) - you deserved it (2373)
On 09/04/2012 at 4:34pm - animals - by badwolf (man) - United States
Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16864) - you deserved it (1290)
On 09/02/2012 at 10:07pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Monday 20 May 2013
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