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Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML

#20812086
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46080) - you deserved it (5090)

On 07/30/2013 at 7:19pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I bought a device that plays a high-pitched sound to teach my dog to quit barking. She's smart enough to learn that as long as she barks loud enough and long enough, she can't hear it. Quite the opposite effect to what I was anticipating. FML

#20811031
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40653) - you deserved it (5748)

On 07/30/2013 at 2:42am - animals - by Bug8Frog - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

#20810087
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48218) - you deserved it (10775)

On 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I tried to help a bird who had broken his wing. I walked straight into a door while looking down at him in my hands, and ended up all but breaking his other wing. FML

#20809873
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36890) - you deserved it (10837)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:11pm - animals - by TehUglyLife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML

#20809312
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41123) - you deserved it (8904)

On 07/29/2013 at 4:19am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up on the last day of my vacation at the beach to find that my dog had chewed a hole in the wall of my rented house, 2 hours before the owner arrived to check for any damage. FML

#20809073
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37894) - you deserved it (5792)

On 07/29/2013 at 1:08am - animals - by feelgood - United States

Today, my mom confessed to loving my "little sister" more than she loves me. My "little sister" is the family dog. FML

#20808417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44714) - you deserved it (3009)

On 07/28/2013 at 6:34pm - animals - by the un-loved child - United States (California)

Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML

#20807336
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42369) - you deserved it (3241)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:28am - animals - by mishyb (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to help my constipated dog by squeezing crap out of her butt. This is a daily occurrence. FML

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

#20788265
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25340) - you deserved it (46204)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while visiting my grandparents, I used one of their blankets to keep warm. Later, I saw their dog getting busy with said blanket. When my grandparents saw my look of horror, they explained that he has "sexual relations" with the blanket every night. Thanks for telling me, guys. FML

#20788038
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41070) - you deserved it (3366)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:56am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54787) - you deserved it (6482)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)



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