Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, my mother locked me out of the house. Why? The dog and her needed some time to talk. FML

#21285216
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31596) - you deserved it (2384)

On 10/25/2014 at 8:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I met my neighbors for the first time, as they helped me carry my dead cat off the road. FML

#21284997
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32611) - you deserved it (2872)

On 10/25/2014 at 1:32pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML

#21283044
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33632) - you deserved it (3677)

On 10/22/2014 at 10:47am - animals - by MouserMan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my neighbor finally decided that when she walks her dog, she should pick up his poop. She also decided to leave the poop-filled bags in my driveway. I confronted her about this and she claimed it's never happened. I've watched her multiple times from my front window. FML

#21281417
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31261) - you deserved it (2549)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:00pm - animals - by Why Me - United States (Indiana)

Today, I laughed at my grandma's chihuahua poodle mix, as it barked at me entering the house. "What are you going to do, nibble me to death?" is apparently enough to make it jump and bite me. I needed five stitches. FML

#21280619
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29022) - you deserved it (11835)

On 10/18/2014 at 7:05pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML

Today, it's my mom's birthday. Got the perfect gift, the perfect card and of course the perfect cake. Well, it was the perfect cake until my dog's ass crushed it. FML

Today, I was boxing up all my brother's old stuff to take to the attic. I came across a box, and without checking what was inside, I took it up, just to have it fall on my head, to then find out it was filled with dead baby hamsters. FML

#21276741
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36593) - you deserved it (3620)

On 10/13/2014 at 4:13am - animals - by MissBeyoncé - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, I had to write, "Do not use to freeze cat," on my bag of ice because my sister's cat died, and she refuses to bury it. FML

#21275907
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30782) - you deserved it (2587)

On 10/11/2014 at 11:14pm - animals - by MrG - United States

Today, I showed my mom a picture of a baby sloth. She then said, "Wait, sloths are real?" She thought Ice Age made them up. FML

#21273306
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38389) - you deserved it (3458)

On 10/08/2014 at 2:02am - animals - by queenmeme - United States (California)

Today, I got robbed. I just moved so I didn't have much in my new house. They did decide that my cat was valuable enough to steal. FML

#21271461
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45517) - you deserved it (2952)

On 10/05/2014 at 7:30pm - animals - by FML - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML

#21271220
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37680) - you deserved it (3441)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML

#21265865
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36313) - you deserved it (4143)

On 09/26/2014 at 3:44pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)



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