Today, I had to deal with a snobby rich woman who asked me to cure her daughter's "unhealthy obsession" with playing outside instead of watching TV with the rest of the family. She called me a liar when I said playing outside is a normal thing for a 6 year-old child to do. FML

by anonymous / 05/01/2016 at 1:59pm / United States / Work

mrsmikelowrey's comment : There are no words.

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Today, I have an infected piercing because I'm allergic to the metal. My ear is so swollen that I can't remove the jewelry. It won't get better until I'm able to remove the jewelry. FML

by pierced / 05/01/2016 at 1:56pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Ashamed_Sister's comment : It sounds like you have to cut off your ear.

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Today, I went on a camping trip. I already had a bad back, and then the guy in charge took us on a hike. My shoes were too small, and now I'm hobbling around with a bad back and foot. Every time I limp, it hurts my back, but if I walk normally, it hurts my foot. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2016 at 1:19pm / United States / Holidays

Today, I’ve been living in Poland for three months now. I had the brilliant idea to take out the trash at midnight after washing my hair. A minute later, my hair was completely frozen and I even managed to break some of it off. I can confirm that it was -30 °C. FML

by polskibus / 01/31/2012 at 12:55am / Poland (Mazowieckie)

Today, I was called in to work on my day off to cover for a co-worker because she was busy getting it on with my brother. FML

by Mrmz07 / 05/01/2016 at 5:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my roommate admitted he spent his half of the rent money on a tattoo. It's all good though, we're just gonna get evicted. FML

by Ted, E. Vic / 05/01/2016 at 1:39am / United States / Money

XxNekoLovexX's comment : It baffles me that some people are so selfish and take other people down with them like that. Fuck that guy

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Today, my boss sent me a message about a project, via WhatsApp. It's my day off, so I figured it could wait till I was able to give a flying fuck. Literally a minute later, he was spamming me, demanding to know why I'd left him as read and reminding me that he has firing powers. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2016 at 12:56am / United States (New Hampshire) / Work

Today, I walked in on my brother trying to stick his knob into a cola bottle. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2016 at 12:36am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, my dentist pulled the wrong tooth. FML

by Fox_Undercover / 04/30/2016 at 4:33pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, a weird guy approached me and started asking me many questions. I didn't know how to get out of this situation, so I suddenly ran away shouting, "Stranger danger! " I'm 21. FML

by foreveryoung / 04/30/2016 at 12:23pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got the courage to talk to this coworker I like and ask her out for a coffee next door. She was dismissive, cold and rude, and filed a complaint with HR. FML

by Worthless Waste of Skin Who Hates Himself / 04/30/2016 at 8:59am / Georgia (Dushet'is Raioni) / Love

Today, I discovered that the "hot, slutty, woman" my room mate has been dating is my mom. FML

by ShouldICallYouDaddy / 04/30/2016 at 7:49am / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Intimacy

Today, even though I’m very careful, my modeling agency said that I’d put on weight. FML

On 05/01/2016 at 11:00am
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