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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my docile gerbil was startled by a car alarm. He dove into my tank top and bit straight through my nipple. FML

#21434340
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23867) - you deserved it (2277)

On 06/30/2015 at 12:02pm - animals - by piercednipple (woman) - United States (Virginia)

jimmer23's comment : My nipples hurt from all the way over here.

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Today, at my job at a ceramics store, I was loading a $300 statuette into a woman's car when I saw a dismembered foot in the trunk. I was so startled that I dropped the statuette and it shattered. Turns out the foot was fake and now my boss says I have to pay for the damage. FML

#21434324
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22942) - you deserved it (5446)

On 06/30/2015 at 11:33am - work - by AIienware -

Cads1's comment : You should not have to foot the bill on that.

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Today, I was at my best friend's wedding. As she threw the bouquet, I was punched in the face by another bridesmaid. Later, as I was explaining what had happened, I punched myself in the face. FML

#21434280
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22282) - you deserved it (6678)

On 06/30/2015 at 8:56am - love - by Anonymous - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, my intern was given his own office. I have been asking to move out of my cubicle for nearly four years. FML

#21434251
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24910) - you deserved it (2086)

On 06/30/2015 at 5:57am - work - by bosslady (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, the man that I have a crush on finally touched me. This would have been great, if not for the fact that it was to roll me on my side while I was having a seizure. FML

#21434226
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25108) - you deserved it (1575)

On 06/30/2015 at 3:51am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

StormGirl142's comment : At least you know he cares enough not to let you die, I guess. Hope you're okay.

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Today, my boss is on the phone with a Russian customer, who keeps saying, "Speak Russian please!" My boss asks me to translate, as he hired me for my knowledge of Russian. He says something, I translate in Russian, then the customer says, "Speak English please!" FML

#21434188
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23370) - you deserved it (1752)

On 06/30/2015 at 2:18am - work - by Claudine (woman) - Belgium (Liege)

Today, my 3-year-old pooped his pants in a public bathroom. As I was squatting down, doing my best to clean poop off of his legs and the floor, a wasp flew up my pant leg. I was stung four times before I danced it out of my pants. FML

#21433955
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23945) - you deserved it (1476)

On 06/29/2015 at 5:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was working at a fast food restaurant when I cut my hand. There was a good amount of blood flowing out so I ran to my manager and asked where the first aid kit was. He then picked up a washcloth and some tape and handed it to me. FML

#21433911
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22768) - you deserved it (1562)

On 06/29/2015 at 4:34pm - work - by Greattitan2 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was legitimately sick so I called in to work. Apparently, 4 other guys on my line called in too. My boss thought we planned it. Now we're all written up. FML

#21433907
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23123) - you deserved it (1261)

On 06/29/2015 at 4:29pm - work - by Justincredible69 (man) - United States

Today, a woman came through drive-thru and placed a long order while screaming at her kids in back. When we forgot a doughnut, she became enraged, threw her iced coffees at me, told me I was a no-life and that I always get her order wrong. It's my first day and I was only giving her the order. FML

Today, my fiancé heard I was having a rotten day at work. He stopped by the flower shop and bought me a lovely rose which I put right next to my work station. That is until a giant wasp flew out and stung me. I still have a swollen arm hours later. FML

#21433819
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25249) - you deserved it (1968)

On 06/29/2015 at 1:30pm - love - by rinakitty94 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after not being able to sleep for two hours because my boyfriend wouldn't stop talking, he fell asleep and I was left wide awake. I listened to him snore for another three hours and only got a couple of hours sleep. He's not working today, but I am. FML

#21433696
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24494) - you deserved it (2871)

On 06/29/2015 at 5:28am - love - by sleepingonmydesk (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was called a selfish brat for asking for a pillow as my birthday present. FML

#21433680
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26865) - you deserved it (1794)

On 06/29/2015 at 3:42am - misc - by youdontknowmewhy (woman) - United States (Texas)



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