Today, I realized two things: how much time I've spent waiting between lectures, and just how bad my love life is. I found out that I get incredibly jealous when somebody sits on my favourite bench in the centre of the campus. FML

by Benchlover / 10/10/2016 at 8:18am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, after letting the painters working on my house know that they're more than welcome to use my restroom, I walked outside only to find three of them pissing in my garden. One even aimed for my tomatoes. FML

by Well okay then / 10/09/2016 at 1:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

TheGamingGamer's comment : Report them immediately. That's not ok, and you worked hard on your garden.

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Today, my cat loves to chase birds. In fact, he loves it so much, he ran out of the litter box mid-poop to chase one, forcing me to wipe his ass. FML

by K-Rat / 10/09/2016 at 8:16am / United States / Animals

Today, I’m on vacation with my boyfriend in Bali. He didn’t want us to take pictures together because, "If we break up, I’ll be bummed to see you on my pictures." FML

by Anonyme / 02/26/2013 at 10:16am / Indonesia (Jakarta Raya)

Today, I had an old man yell in my face because the boxes in our store only had Spanish words on them. I spent 15 minutes apologizing and trying to explain that the English was on the back side. He stormed out before I could even show him. FML

by Smittynumerouno / 10/27/2016 at 11:13pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was changing my tampon in a public bathroom. As I was about to put the tampon into the sanitary bin, I dropped it and it rolled under the stall next to mine. It was occupied. FML

by Sarah_Mow / 10/27/2016 at 10:31pm / Miscellaneous

poorkitten's comment : " today I was minding my own business in a public washroom when a used tampon rolled into my stall. FML"

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Today, I was sitting in my old rusty truck in an empty parking lot, when some old lady parks beside me and opens her door, hitting my truck. Having a used up truck, I didn't mind. But you could tell that it made her mad, when she came back with the manager demanding that I pay for her paint job. FML

by bagadigi / 10/27/2016 at 10:18am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

StormfrontX33's comment : Here I thought Canadians were stereotypically nice. That lady deserves to trip on the ground without a life alert necklace. The nerve of some people to shun their own responsibility really is irksome. I'm sure you can clear it up, or ask the store for surveillance in court.

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2016/10/27
Blog

Today, I had a conversation with the cute girl I like at work for the first time. I told her I worked in the camping department of the store, and we had a long chat about how she heard that the guy who runs that department is a complete dick head. I am the guy who runs that department. FML

by Smitty Werbenjeagermanjensen / 10/26/2016 at 11:19pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my boyfriend made spaghetti Bolognese. He put the sauce with the pasta, in the water. FML

by FromBerryToE / 02/02/2010 at 11:47am / France

Today, I was informed I wouldn't be getting a raise because I hadn't followed the updated protocol. I said I was unaware that there was an updated protocol. My supervisor said, "That's because we didn't tell you about it." FML

by notgoodenough / 10/26/2016 at 2:47pm / Work

Today, I celebrated my fifteen-week anniversary. No, not a relationship anniversary. A migraine anniversary. It won't stop. FML

by ElizaWy / 10/26/2016 at 11:52am / Health

Today, I finally realized why my 9-week-old puppy was going to the bathroom so much. I went to pick up the food bag and realized she had chewed a hole in the bottom, and eaten half of the bag in the last 4 days. Goodbye 30 pounds of dog food, and 100$ for a vet visit. FML

by Pups4Cups / 10/26/2016 at 8:43am / Animals