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Today, I had to explain to my little sister that not all guitars are supposed to have a hole in them, that when I was talking about "breaking it in" I didn't mean I'd smash a hole in it, and that she shouldn't have taken a hammer to my expensive new guitar. FML

#21417642
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26433) - you deserved it (2412)

On 05/29/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

thawny's comment : I hope this doesn't create a riff between you two.

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Today, my girlfriend bought two tickets for a cruise to the Bahamas. Too bad the second ticket isn't for me. I guess her ex-boyfriend will have a wonderful time with her. FML

#21417626
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28584) - you deserved it (2106)

On 05/29/2015 at 2:28pm - love - by probably single (man) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

rhiannahoward14's comment : Your name... "Probably single"... You should DEFINITELY be single and YOU should be the one to end it.

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Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I crossed the street without holding her hand. FML

#21417560
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28875) - you deserved it (3691)

On 05/29/2015 at 11:05am - love - by GlueAndCarrots - Canada (Ontario)

tehman117's comment : Is she 3?

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Today, my father told me that my mental health issues, which have been confirmed by multiple doctors and tests, are all caused by the fact that I'm slightly overweight and don't exercise a lot. FML

#21417547
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25271) - you deserved it (4142)

On 05/29/2015 at 10:23am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, for our anniversary, I had made a small treasure hunt for my boyfriend, tying roses with notes of poetry to lampposts across campus to lead him to where we would have a romantic dinner. He couldn't find it because people had stolen the roses, or simply ripped them to pieces and thrown them away. FML

#21417526
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30108) - you deserved it (7835)

On 05/29/2015 at 9:04am - love - by Headless (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was on the train going to work when my travel tea cup began spilling inside my purse, which was on my lap. It went all over my skirt, pooled at the bottom of my feet, and, yes, everyone notice that it happened to be piss-colored yellow. FML

#21417508
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25348) - you deserved it (3967)

On 05/29/2015 at 8:13am - misc - by Great (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned one of life's great lessons: it is possible to squeeze a Ketchup bottle so hard that the plastic breaks and everything lands on your face. FML

#21417490
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22752) - you deserved it (5576)

On 05/29/2015 at 6:58am - misc - by sassy_girl144 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Berkshire)

Today, I started my day off with a relaxing cup of coffee, the morning paper, and the sound of my mother informing me I will be going to hell for being not believing in God. FML

#21417394
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25934) - you deserved it (4758)

On 05/29/2015 at 12:16am - misc - by idonthavereligion (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend made me a coupon book. I thought it was sweet until I noticed they were all conditional. For example; "Give your boyfriend a blowjob and he'll give you a 10 minute back massage!". They're all like that and he's mad because I refuse to use them. FML

#21417382
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28462) - you deserved it (2911)

On 05/28/2015 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by shmoooopie (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has been denying me sex isn't because he is scared of someone walking in on us. It's because his blow-up doll pleasures him more than I do. FML

#21417148
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29474) - you deserved it (4739)

On 05/28/2015 at 2:05pm - intimacy - by MarieAmber18 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I received a promotional message offering a half-off deal on an expensive coffee maker. The only reason why I received the message is because I bought that same coffee maker yesterday and I signed up to their mailing list. FML

#21417141
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24821) - you deserved it (2423)

On 05/28/2015 at 1:41pm - money - by FFS - Cyprus (Limassol)

Today, my daughter cried for ages after finding out that Nick Amaro was written out of Law and Order: SVU. She barely reacted when I told her that her mom and I are getting a divorce. FML

#21417105
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24318) - you deserved it (2935)

On 05/28/2015 at 11:40am - misc - by svunimportant - United States (Kentucky)



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