Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML

#21512451
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28375) - you deserved it (3302)

On 01/07/2016 at 7:00am - intimacy - by anne (woman) - Germany

PANDORUM89's comment : perhaps Instead have him go pick you up some pads for the time being until you can insert your own tampons?

See all the comments →

Thoricsteam20's comment : F the earths life.

See all the comments →

Today, I hate my distant visiting family so much that after work I take a detour and sit in my car on an adjacent street, contemplating reasons not to go home. FML

cj89898's comment : Your priorities are completely straight

See all the comments →

Today, I discovered my dog humping my sister's five month old baby while babysitting. FML

Today, my 4 year old's heavily pregnant teacher pulled me aside and asked me to talk to my son about "boundaries". Apparently, he asked her if she was going to "boobie feed" him and listed a few reasons why she should and why formula is bad, in front of the entire class. FML

Today, I found out the reason why my cat would sometimes go outside for days at a time was because when she would go out, my neighbor would lure her in with cat treats and keep her there for up to 2 days. She's an indoor cat now. FML

#21512319
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19889) - you deserved it (1817)

On 01/06/2016 at 10:38pm - animals - by cat lady - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out why my coworkers never invite me anywhere. Apparently, I "made a face" when one of them used the N-word, and it makes them uncomfortable to be around me. FML

#21512272
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19203) - you deserved it (1958)

On 01/06/2016 at 8:55pm - work - by seeking new employment (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my mom can't wait until I turn 18, so she can kick me out and turn my room into a huge closet for all her clothes. FML

#21512120
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20661) - you deserved it (1881)

On 01/06/2016 at 1:01pm - misc - by makdra (woman) -

Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML

#21512109
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19079) - you deserved it (3527)

On 01/06/2016 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonycock (man) - Qatar (Ad Dawhah)

Today, let's just say it's not a good sign when your plumber yells "What the fuck?!" That is, unless you actually like your kitchen being swamped by sewage. FML

#21512099
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19553) - you deserved it (1235)

On 01/06/2016 at 10:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally got myself settled into bed around 2 in the morning after a very long day. My cat started to snuggle with me when I smelled something disgusting. Turns out my cat sharted in my bed. FML

#21512014
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21377) - you deserved it (1982)

On 01/06/2016 at 1:54am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a 65-ish year-old man told me that he's married and not supposed to look at other women, but that I tempt him. All while sitting next to his wife, who then told me I was going to hell. FML

#21511989
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22620) - you deserved it (1511)

On 01/05/2016 at 11:56pm - work - by Nicky_ham (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I went to move a load of laundry out of the washer and into the dryer, but the clothes were already in the dryer. Normally, I would be happy about this. However, I am currently living alone. FML

#21511987
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20794) - you deserved it (1866)

On 01/05/2016 at 11:48pm - misc - by Pithegreat (man) - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: