Health, Covid and Coronavirus: Preemptive strike

Preemptive strike

By Alex Kiwi - 02/04/2020 20:00

Today, I grounded my son for vaping. However, the coronavirus has already grounded all of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 490

You deserved it 353

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Same thing different taste

Don't blame me

By anonymous - 15/11/2020 05:02 - United States

Today, I got suspended from school for smoking in the stairs. I'm grounded for a month without my phone, TV or any type of social connection. All of this would seem like a fair enough punishment if I actually smoked, but instead I just smell like my parent's second-hand smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 768

You deserved it 137

By blue15564 - 26/09/2016 21:52 - United States - Davenport

Today, my dad grounded me for not having any friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 381

You deserved it 1 145

By hypercrite dad - 19/09/2014 18:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 127

You deserved it 15 536

The war on drugs

By Anonymous - 29/09/2022 12:30

Today, my dad caught me vaping. From the volume of his yelling, you’d think he caught me sniffing cocaine out of a prostitute's ass crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 1 170

By ironyisabitch - 02/06/2012 05:43 - United States - Rohnert Park

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 323

You deserved it 3 081

Ongoing crisis

By Anonymous - 21/11/2022 06:00

Today, I found out my dad got Covid after spending the weekend at home. All my classes have me doing final projects, and my dorm's internet is a dumpster fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 119

Smoke signals?

By Anonymous - 15/02/2023 02:00

Today, my dad grounded me. Again. First it was my phone, now my watch. How the hell am I supposed to communicate now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 1 139

Toxic parents

By Anonymous - 30/07/2020 20:01

Today, my mom caught me vaping weed oil and tried to ground me. I’m 33 years old, with my own wife and kids, weed is legal in this state with a medical card, and I use it to treat the seizures I’ve had since mom belted me around the head as a kid, giving me brain damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 093

You deserved it 239

J'accuse...!

By hockeymango57 - 24/09/2017 23:15

Today, one of my friends blew a giant vape cloud and the principal saw and called us into his office. We blamed each other, so the principal checked both of our backpacks. Apparently, my friend snuck his pen into my bag somehow. I don't even vape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 040

You deserved it 630

Get 'em while they're young

By Smoked. - 20/06/2021 12:59 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I got a citation from school. My 10-year-old son was caught smoking cigarettes during recess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 895

You deserved it 196

jbuckets_404 38

Friday 3 April 2020 3:40

Make him do chores 8 hrs a day. Rinse and repeat....

demix_fml 32

Friday 3 April 2020 21:01

Change the WiFi password?

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Friday 3 April 2020 0:19

Make him go out and find toilet paper.

themetropolitan 19

Friday 3 April 2020 3:22

Can't ground your son when mankind is already grounded...

jbuckets_404 38

Friday 3 April 2020 3:40

Make him do chores 8 hrs a day. Rinse and repeat....

demix_fml 32

Friday 3 April 2020 21:01

Change the WiFi password?

ojoRojo 27

Thursday 9 April 2020 16:28

You can still make his life miserable by restricting his access to WiFi and cable.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 1 708

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I agree, your life sucks 28 183

You deserved it 47 587

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 62 828

You deserved it 33 137

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I agree, your life sucks 27 657

You deserved it 6 244

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I agree, your life sucks 44 447

You deserved it 4 196

Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 457

You deserved it 3 050

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I agree, your life sucks 40 246

You deserved it 3 698

Today, a student came out to me, saying that she thinks she's gay. This has happened several times since I have taught here, which made me wonder why they were comfortable telling me. Turns out being a single, childless woman of my age screams "lesbian" to this particular community. I'm not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 959

You deserved it 2 091

Same thing different taste

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