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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was sprinting to the bus stop trying to beat the bus. It pulled next to me and honked, startling me off the edge of the road. My foot slipped, I went tumbling, roadrashing my leg. The bus driver stopped, opened the door, and yelled "I was just letting you know this is a training bus." FML

Today, I was trying to give my girlfriend an orgasm. While doing so she was lying on her back. I asked her: "How do you like that, baby?". She responded by asking where I bought the false ceiling and spotlights as she thought it would look good in her flat. She got bored instead of excited. FML

#4286858
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35981) - you deserved it (16363)

On 08/04/2009 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Hopelesslover (man) - Malta

Today, I was working the lighting for a drama production. In the last scene, two characters realize they are in love and kiss, then the stage goes dark. I mixed up my settings, and instead of a blackout, flashing party lights started going off. 300 people turn around to stare at me. FML

#4285773
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15259) - you deserved it (34670)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:22pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found a pair of women's underwear in the laundry that wasn't mine. I confronted my boyfriend about it. They were his. FML

#4285765
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46897) - you deserved it (6550)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:21pm - love - by Angry (woman) - United States

gxjkb's comment : and you believed that?

See all the comments →

Today, I turned on my boyfriend's computer and saw pictures of all of my credit cards, front and back, and several of my parent's credit cards. I looked in his e-mail and found receipts for items which had been billed to me and delivered to him, including golf clubs and my birthday gift. FML

#4281912
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55042) - you deserved it (5768)

On 08/04/2009 at 1:31pm - misc - by Michelle - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date night down a dirt road to a field in the middle of nowhere. He packed some blankets, a bottle of wine, and some condoms. He didn't know the dirt road was actually a driveway until all of our clothes were off. FML

Today, I took my best friend out for a night in town, after he got dumped by his girlfriend recently. As we were walking around, we passed a group of hot women, a couple who were checking him out. Trying to be encouraging, I said "He's single!" and winked. One of the girls was his ex-girlfriend. FML

#4280491
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38067) - you deserved it (9192)

On 08/04/2009 at 12:15pm - love - by badbestfriend (man) - United States (California)

Today, while visiting family in the Czech Republic, I was told on two separate occasions that I looked like a Czech TV star. Flattered, I asked what the TV show was called. Turns out there's a Czech version of 'Ugly Betty'. FML

#4278303
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35862) - you deserved it (3130)

On 08/04/2009 at 9:19am - misc - by CzechMeOut (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my grandfather was counting all the grandchildren he had and saying how fortunate he was to have all of us. When I pointed out that he'd forgotten to count me, he turned and said "You're adopted, you don't count as a real grandchild" FML

#4277712
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84008) - you deserved it (3907)

On 08/04/2009 at 8:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend was reading me a love poem he wrote for me. It was beautiful, and going really well until he read the last line, which had a girl's name in it. It wasn't my name. My boyfriend said "shit, wrong girl", and dug through his bag for a different poem. FML

#4277493
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58027) - you deserved it (4174)

On 08/04/2009 at 7:27am - love - by jemma (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML

#4276253
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50221) - you deserved it (2945)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:40am - misc - by superfiedman (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out I have an option on my phone to postpone the sending of my text messages. I thought it would be cute to send my boyfriend texts saying, " I love you and sweet dreams" every night at midnight for a month. He broke up with me and I can't figure out how to stop the texts. FML

#4276088
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36255) - you deserved it (23332)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:26am - misc - by Optimist - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML

#4275637
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43648) - you deserved it (18905)

On 08/04/2009 at 3:55am - love - by Ouchithurt (man) - United States (Indiana)



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