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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I had my final economics exam, and needed to ace it, or else I would fail the entire module. After studying all day yesterday, and pulling an all-nighter today, I managed to pull it off and get a perfect score. Unfortunately, my teacher didn't believe that it was possible, and accused me of cheating. Now I may be thrown out of college. FML

#8617932
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41264) - you deserved it (2882)

On 02/24/2010 at 4:28pm - misc - by koolkidx3 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I spilled a glass of iced tea all over my desk. It trickled down the wall and fried an extension cord. FML

#8615940
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19145) - you deserved it (9006)

On 02/24/2010 at 2:43pm - misc - by dumbbass (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to apply for a credit card to help build up my credit rating. It seemed smart since I'm a 24 year old college graduate. I was rejected for not having a credit history. Being rejected turns out to hurt your credit history. The irony of my predicament is too great for words. FML

#8615441
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32524) - you deserved it (2724)

On 02/24/2010 at 2:13pm - money - by creditwhore (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realised my girlfriend is the perfect woman for most men. She only ever talks to me in the intermissions on Modern Warfare 2; shame it's not me playing. FML

#8614078
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26888) - you deserved it (6072)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:27pm - love - by sadf4x0r (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years left me for a guy whose favorite color is camouflage. FML

#8612745
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38780) - you deserved it (5524)

On 02/24/2010 at 10:29am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

#8612395
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26889) - you deserved it (4547)

On 02/24/2010 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, after months of searching I finally got a job interview. Too bad I didn't have enough money to buy a bus ticket to get there. FML

#8612009
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28505) - you deserved it (4067)

On 02/24/2010 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I was very sick, and my boyfriend was taking care of me at his parents' house. I was laying on the couch, innocently watching a movie while he rubbed my feet, when his stepmother came home from work. She freaked out, accused us of having it off on her couch, and kicked me out. FML

#8611992
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28744) - you deserved it (2419)

On 02/24/2010 at 9:18am - misc - by Greymoya (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I felt a lump of something in the corner of my mouth. Naturally assuming it would be a bit of food that my toothbrush had dislodged, I spat it out into the sink. It was a woodlouse. FML

#8611277
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30924) - you deserved it (3058)

On 02/24/2010 at 7:58am - misc - by puzzled (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, my 2 year old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

#8608911
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9064) - you deserved it (64199)

On 02/24/2010 at 2:45am - kids - by janesays (woman) - United States

Today, I had a seizure at work. My boss walked by and saw me, but didn't help or do anything because he thought I was "picking something up off the floor." FML

#8607847
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33769) - you deserved it (1932)

On 02/24/2010 at 1:29am - work - by argh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, before my date came to pick me up, I put tissues under my arms so I wouldn't leave wet marks. I forgot to remove them, and when we got physical, they fell out, looking like I'd stuffed my bra. FML

#8606978
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12447) - you deserved it (32023)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:54am - intimacy - by kiki (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while visiting my in-laws, I went into their home office in search of a sheet of scrap paper. Instead, I found printed copies of every email and IM my husband and I had ever sent each other, including pictures. Highlighted and annotated by his mother. FML

#8606853
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33309) - you deserved it (2020)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by ks0300 - United States (Texas)



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