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Today, I corrected my mom in front of our family while she was ragging on my 12 year old cousin who got a piercing. She said, "You don't understand you don't have kids, but on the other hand you probably never will!" I have Polycystic ovary syndrome, she is right, I probably never will. FML

#4783460
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56533) - you deserved it (3044)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:43pm - health - by fannyfitel123 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML

#4782445
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37435) - you deserved it (4818)

On 08/24/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was playing Ultimate Frisbee and trying to make new friends since I'm new at my college. I was running after an overthrown frisbee for a touchdown. Everyone cheered me on to keep going. I ran full speed into a fence. FML

#4781635
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29039) - you deserved it (8312)

On 08/24/2009 at 10:22am - health - by AvengdSevenfold (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML

#4781162
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33956) - you deserved it (3623)

On 08/24/2009 at 9:38am - animals - by CatLady (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had a double wedding with my sister. My mother, being as encouraging as she always is, told us that statistics say one of our marriages will end in divorce. She then explained she thinks it'll be mine because I'm 'a self-absorbed bitch'. FML

#4780151
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38873) - you deserved it (8230)

On 08/24/2009 at 7:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Constanta)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML

#4779323
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33170) - you deserved it (16590)

On 08/24/2009 at 5:57am - intimacy - by Mattyboy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I ended up gashing my leg rather badly on the corner of a chair, fell to the ground with a very loud thud, and yelled "OH F*CK ME!!". I hobbled to the bathroom making more noise in the process. My neighbor came by and asked if I could "keep my sex noise to a minimum". FML

#4777609
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35753) - you deserved it (6865)

On 08/24/2009 at 3:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I almost got married. After the elaborate and very expensive wedding, my "husband" decided he did not want to sign the marriage license because he wasn't sure if he really wanted to settle down after all. FML

#4775370
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44858) - you deserved it (3052)

On 08/24/2009 at 1:16am - love - by singleagain (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for god knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowningly drove it. FML

#4774663
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13386) - you deserved it (42568)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:49am - misc - by snakeboy (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML

#4774624
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44521) - you deserved it (4802)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:48am - misc - by secretdeo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML

#4774290
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28464) - you deserved it (17906)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by bobuhbeartoe (man) - United States (California)

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

#4774065
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20783) - you deserved it (38091)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my next door neighbor told me that he liked the carpet in my bedroom. I live alone. He's never been in my bedroom. FML

#4767628
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39474) - you deserved it (1972)

On 08/23/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by violatedinden (woman) - United States (Nebraska)



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