Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML

#12826740
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11771) - you deserved it (47822)

On 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by tikizombie (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to play my friends the demo CD that I've spent all summer recording. I didn't tell them it was me. Not even 10 seconds into the first song, my best friend asked me to turn it off because it sucked. FML

#12826114
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28699) - you deserved it (6371)

On 08/30/2010 at 7:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was moving out of my old place. While walking around to make sure I would get my damage deposit back, I stepped on my roommate's lipstick and smeared it all over the white carpet. Then, I tripped on the phone cord and ripped the whole thing out of the wall. FML

#12823670
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33401) - you deserved it (8038)

On 08/30/2010 at 4:10pm - misc - by tikizombie (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally decided to do regular biology rather than honors biology, thinking honors would be too hard. My first day in regular biology, my lab partner asked me whether a rock was alive or not. FML

Today, my external hard drive broke. My husband tried to fix it, and the computer told him he needed to format it. Apparently he didn't know what formatting does, so he did it. I'm a wedding photographer and had a full summer of unfinished wedding photography on there. FML

#12822574
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38291) - you deserved it (7139)

On 08/30/2010 at 2:42pm - work - by photogirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43613) - you deserved it (15801)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered that I have developed a latex allergy. I'm a third year medical student. FML

#12820970
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35060) - you deserved it (2932)

On 08/30/2010 at 12:18pm - misc - by Sally19863 - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I realised that my flight back from Berlin was actually booked for the 29th of September instead of August. FML

#12818832
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13615) - you deserved it (25764)

On 08/30/2010 at 7:40am - misc - by Palf - Germany (Brandenburg)

Today, I injured my knee and dislocated my shoulder fighting over a cookie with my brother. He's 14. I'm 26. He still got the cookie. FML

#12818513
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12559) - you deserved it (35729)

On 08/30/2010 at 6:34am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Oman (Masqat)

Today, I witnessed my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML

#12817288
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43333) - you deserved it (13273)

On 08/30/2010 at 3:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

christa953's comment : and?? I've seen boys do that too. lol

See all the comments →

Today, my boyfriend told everyone I queef during sex. Even his parents are calling me "Cooter Pooter." FML

#12816242
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37977) - you deserved it (6689)

On 08/30/2010 at 2:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has been asked by multiple people "why he is going out with such an ugly girl." FML

#12815819
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34420) - you deserved it (3937)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:35am - love - by hjufidskndf - United States

Today, I went to an audition for a play. The casting director thanked me for my time, but told me they would pass because I had "the emotional range of a turnip." FML

#12812142
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21799) - you deserved it (6916)

On 08/29/2010 at 10:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: