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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my mom told me I was conceived on Halloween. She thought it would be funny to say "Let's just say your dad was not wearing his ghost costume." She then winked. I am now scarred for life. FML

#12874867
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29344) - you deserved it (4252)

On 09/02/2010 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by anonymous.. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, on my way to work, the obese old guy in the house opposite mine offered me tips on my yoga technique. Not only were his tips helpful, but I now know I should either close my curtains or put clothes on when I do yoga. FML

#12874648
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9313) - you deserved it (37677)

On 09/02/2010 at 8:16pm - misc - by nakedyogagirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I received my first compliment in a really long time. It went, "Hey, you don't look like crap today." FML

#12874218
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27680) - you deserved it (4145)

On 09/02/2010 at 7:51pm - misc - by AmICrappyEveryOtherDay (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned that my apartment's walls are thin enough for my neighbors to hear my vibrator. I've lived in this apartment for three years. I've been single and horny for all of them. FML

#12872328
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30661) - you deserved it (13929)

On 09/02/2010 at 5:09pm - intimacy - by Buzzie (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out that my employers hired me under the assumption that I was gay. Apparently, they are attempting to be perceived as more open-minded. I'm not gay, but I'm afraid being straight could cost me my job. FML

#12872316
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36647) - you deserved it (3409)

On 09/02/2010 at 5:09pm - work - by confused (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the bookstore. While I was in line, I heard everyone talking about how a book cart had gotten loose and rolled down the parking lot into a car, smashing the front. It was my car. FML

#12870608
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28480) - you deserved it (2109)

On 09/02/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by whatthewoah (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the elevator broke in my dorm and won't be fixed for several days. I live on the 26th floor. FML

#12870338
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40834) - you deserved it (3730)

On 09/02/2010 at 1:39pm - misc - by flimflam (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a stomach virus. I tried to make myself throw up to feel better. My long nails sliced open my throat from the inside, and I threw up blood. FML

#12869426
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13489) - you deserved it (57729)

On 09/02/2010 at 12:03pm - health - by Sickie. (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after finally getting up the nerve to take my motorcycle to up 75mph on the freeway, I made it off in one piece, only to fall off my bike in the mall parking lot. FML

#12867561
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13909) - you deserved it (24253)

On 09/02/2010 at 7:40am - misc - by hatesgravity (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML

#12866112
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39136) - you deserved it (2677)

On 09/02/2010 at 3:25am - health - by coyote - Japan

Today, I got grounded because I have a picture on facebook in which I'm touching the crotch of a cardboard cut-out of Obama. My parents insist the FBI will see that and I'll end up in jail. My parents are crazy. FML

Today, while browsing facebook I found out that today was my school's class reunion. I was the ONLY one not invited. FML

#12864356
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32057) - you deserved it (4326)

On 09/02/2010 at 12:48am - misc - by anyone (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I fell off my bike. I grazed my knee, shin, thigh, hip, collar bone, shoulder and face. I also strained my wrist. As I was wheeling my bike away, I stung my other leg on nettles. FML

#12861680
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26967) - you deserved it (4283)

On 09/01/2010 at 10:31pm - health - by jodulieu - Sent from mobile version



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