Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I lost 200 dollars while playing poker with my new sunglasses. Turns out you can see the cards in the reflection. FML

#52319
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9457) - you deserved it (59949)

On 02/16/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by jwz (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I told my dad I was leaving to get some beauty sleep. He looked at me laughing and said "See you in a decade." FML

#52270
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34101) - you deserved it (5337)

On 02/16/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by mags (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at work. I work at a grocery store and a woman pulls a cart to me filled with chips, breads, lunch meats, and sodas. I said to her "Looks like you are going to have a fun party" she then looks at me and says "My mother just died, this is for after the funeral. FML

#52207
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30740) - you deserved it (7949)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by KMKWEEN (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I drank a ton of beers for my 25th birthday. My friends love to watch me open beer bottles with my teeth. I chipped both of my front uppers doing this. I'm no longer covered by my parents dental insurance because I'm 25 now. FML

#52066
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6749) - you deserved it (51634)

On 02/16/2009 at 8:01am - misc - by bready (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked by my roommate and his girlfriend while they were hugging. I asked "what's up lovebirds?". Turns out they were in the middle of a breakup. FML

#51436
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29734) - you deserved it (7961)

On 02/16/2009 at 2:36am - misc - by dammit_ (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was pulled over by a motorcycle cop for speeding in a 25 MPH zone. As the cop was walking towards my car, I flicked my cig-bud out of my window. So, the cop did me the pleasure of writing me two tickets instead of one. FML

#51182
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7964) - you deserved it (121154)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:52am - misc - by Dani_Rich - United States (California)

Today, I took a friend out for what I thought was date. After dinner was over and I paid, she pulled the bill out and wrote her name phone number on it for the waiter. FML

#51117
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40410) - you deserved it (2427)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I submitted my picture to a rating website. It was rejected because I didn't clarify which person I was. The picture was of my dog and me. FML

#50686
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39673) - you deserved it (5124)

On 02/16/2009 at 12:45am - animals - by Ugh - United States (California)

Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML

#50610
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10643) - you deserved it (21154)

On 02/16/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by thedullard (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML

#48381
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36630) - you deserved it (8049)

On 02/15/2009 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a card for my birthday and told me to open it 10 minutes after he'd gone; I waited for 5. In the card was written, "It's not working out, but here's $20." FML

#48184
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53277) - you deserved it (2603)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by blah (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my religious girlfriend of 8 months finally lets me have sex with her. She invites me over, and just when we are about to do it, her dad comes home from work 3 hours early. She said it is a sign from God that we have to wait. FML

#48148
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56240) - you deserved it (16190)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:49pm - intimacy - by naynay007 (man) - United States

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

#47954
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23531) - you deserved it (36618)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



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