Alton, usa 56 years-old In a relationship
Today, I was at the lake watching a romantic sunset with my boyfriend. He tenderly started touching my thigh, then started shaking my leg to the rhythm while singing the J-E-L-L-O theme song. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML
Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML
Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML
Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML
Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML
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