Mr Chemnitz, Germany 37 years-old Single
Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymed with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, I was sucking on a Tic Tac. Just as I was starting to get into it, the Tic Tac suddenly shot down my throat. After a minute of coughing and gagging, it came back up… out my left nostril. FML
Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML
Today, I told my mother I have a girlfriend. Her first answer was, "Does she know?" FML
Today, my dog ate a $2,000 check. My credit card bill gets taken out of my bank account tomorrow. FML
Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML
Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
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