Mr Lincoln, United States 39 years-old Single
Today, I found myself crying for an hour when my recreated crush on The Sims 3 game rejected my character and ran off with someone else. FML
Today, I went out on a date with an ex-boyfriend who I hadn't seen since college. He took me to a bar, where he was oddly quiet, but drank heavily. When the bartender asked us if we were ok, he replied, "This is my ex-girlfriend. Can you believe she used to be skinny?" FML
Today, as I was filling out divorce paperwork, I realized that my son has had the same girlfriend through both of my marriages. He's 17. FML
Today, my boyfriend turned down a shower with me because he didn't want to get his hair wet. FML
Today, my girlfriend sent out a mass text to everyone on her contact list. She's getting married in a month. I didn't propose to her. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother slipping into a pair of panties. Specifically, a pair of my panties. FML
Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML
Today, I found out that my grandma has been sending me birthday money every year. My mom just steals it before I ever see it. FML
Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
Today, I was making out with this guy that I like. In an attempt to be romantic, he tried to pick me up and press me against the wall. He couldn't lift me off the ground. FML
Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML
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