hityourheart

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Hityourheart's favorite FMLs

By #201 - 05/02/2009 13:23 - United States

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

agreeclassic 52 484

vote type 1 16 564

By ab - 09/10/2011 05:11 - Canada

Today, a woman came into my work and yelled at me because no one told her the cake she had bought the week before was made of ice cream. She'd hidden it in the cupboard and it melted. I work in Dairy Queen. FML

agreeclassic 35 487

vote type 1 2 577

By anonymous - 01/10/2011 14:18 - United States

Today, I used a public restroom with very shiny floors. So shiny, in fact, that I could see a clear reflection of the person in the next stall. I'm pretty sure they could see me too. FML

agreeclassic 32 773

vote type 1 3 017

By Anonymous - 25/09/2011 16:15 - United States

Today, I bought a UV light so I could detect cat pee, since I was sure my cat was relieving herself on the carpet. I decided to try it out in the living room first. Nearly half the room lit up like a Christmas tree. FML

agreeclassic 36 111

vote type 1 5 195

By badass - 13/08/2011 07:25 - United States

Today, I started to fall in love with my wife again. We are in the middle of a divorce. FML

agreeclassic 43 431

vote type 1 18 379