Today, my drunk brother thought I could withstand a metal chair being slammed across my back like on the wrestling shows. I guess he didn't know that the shows are fake. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I thought it would be funny to tell him I was Iron Man and that nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later, he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML
Today, I fell off of the deck in my backyard, which wouldn't have been that bad if my drunk, idiot brother hadn't jumped off behind me yelling, "FINISH HIM!" while delivering a bone-crushing body slam. He is fine. I, however, am currently getting a cast for a broken arm. FML
Today, while arm wrestling with my boyfriend, I had to pretend he beat me. FML
Today, I tried to prank my brother with the butter floor prank after coming back from work. As a result, my brother stepped out of ER with an arm cast, stitches on his head and a neck collar. FML
Today, I got proof that martial arts don’t really work, I’ve supposedly worked my way up to my black belt, and I challenged my brother to a match. He floored me with one punch before I could do anything, and he only weight lifts to keep in shape, he’s never done martial arts in his life. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my friends when I tripped and a chair rolled over my foot, breaking a bone. A friend, who didn't believe me, then dogpiled on top of me and laughed as I screamed. FML
Today, I pulled a neck muscle while head-banging. I wasn't at a concert, and I'm not in a heavy metal band, but I do pretend that I am while I'm in the shower. FML
Today, my brother and I got in a fight and he told my friends that I am mentally disabled. They believed him. Apparently, "everything makes sense now." FML
Today, my brother-in-law wanted a boxing match, which was the last thing I wanted since he’s a trained boxer. The last thing I expected was to knock him out cold on my first swing. My wife is now mad at me because he’s sulking, and I “could have held back to be a good sport.” Um, what? FML
Today, I had to explain to a hospital social worker that my young son is not abused, he is just rowdy and that he knocked himself unconscious and shattered 4 teeth in a bizarre stunt involving a tree, my ironing board, a mop bucket and lots of duct tape. I'm not sure the hospital believes me. FML
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Top comments
Thisismypchere 8
Shit that sucks. I'm sorry, what an idiot
GuidoCheese 0
Oh hell yes! I used to think the shows were real back then so I tried to imitate some of the moves. Two broken arms, a broken rib, and a broken finger later, I began to suspect something was up.
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Comments (128)
Tessa39 0
haha that sucks
Thisismypchere 8
Shit that sucks. I'm sorry, what an idiot
Jojo08_fml 0
he didn't know the shows were fake or he was just too drunk to remember
KingGeorgeGal 12
Now return the favor (:
davex 0
Old enough to get drunk but too dumb to realize those are fake? Now that's a bad combination.
RetardedBullFrog 4
Now you have to make him realize that he will not withstand being slammed on the back with a metal ladder, like on wrestling shows.
enonymous 9
Oooooooo YEAH!! DIG IT... What u need to do is snap into a slim jim 20 of those will give your the extra body fat to absorb the chair shots
maz255 10
R.I.P macho man :(
FMLaddict20 5
or he was just drunk?
ArentICute 0
Except this time your mighty weapon is the fridge.
phillsand 1
Not a smart one is he?
volley4eva1698 0
not the brightest bulb, sharpest pencil, fluffiest bunny, colorful rainbow, biggest penis, sharpest tool in the shed...
DropDead77 11
save us some comparisons..
Jammy01jams 2
the intelligence is not strong with this one...
Emma_4312 7
ouch... D:
MrFraser25 2
there fake? :'( all my dreams... wasted
WOTM 0
84- yea, some is real but they act out the fight before going in the ring, they plan who is going to win
WaywardDaughter 26
And most of the props (like a chair) is made special...easy to break and not a huge amount of pain
mhinaj 0
oh
ifailplzinsultme 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
*bad pun alert* Wow I fell right on my seat after reading this FML!
ifailplzinsultme 0
You guys took bad pun alert to heart didn't you?
ed11 1
boooo
Kayokku 1
Your profile picture makes up for it.
FurryPride 9
Agreed 83
LikeaPRESIDENT 0
puns aren't suppose to be bad....
BaconDave 12
I thought puns were supposed to be bad.
dabears1011234 27
That wasn't even a pun.
GuidoCheese 0
Oh hell yes! I used to think the shows were real back then so I tried to imitate some of the moves. Two broken arms, a broken rib, and a broken finger later, I began to suspect something was up.
iWantSprite 12
Lmao u BEGAN? Shit after the arms I would have been done.
GuidoCheese 0
My friends and I used to do crazy shit when we were younger. Jump off trees and create our own fireworks show; you can't do that anymore. Everything is illegal now. What's considered a free country is now binding us citizens to their brainwashing system doing their bidding. Meh.
chili10 18
it's unbelievable that any of us can live in a society where all dangerous things are illegal. Or, maybe that's the point?
cc_the_beast 6
It's about gaining the ability to take calculated risks. You need to do stupid things in order to learn to not do stupid things.
PYLrulz 17
it's called "covering asses". With everybody so willing to sue at the drop of the hat (oh, my hat wasn't supposed to drop like that, I'm gonna sue!!!), certain things have to be watched over.
awardZu 0
I agree with 53, and 54 has a point too. I did some crazy shit growing up, and it taught me my limits. However, now, if you try to, say, jump off the roof onto the trampoline... You can file frivolous lawsuits on the manufacturers of everything involved.
iAmScrubs 19
I've wanted to do something like that for an incredibly long time. It has been one of my goals to be on Friday Night Smackdown. I'd be one of those guys that takes the guitar, and smashes it over the other dude's head. Then, when he is down on the ground, I will climb up on the side of the ring an bodyslam him.
DoubleL4567 0
dude, that's awesome!!!
Lexi_Ray 5
now you know to stay away from your brother
MoCheezy23 0
He should so totally put him on "Bully Beatdown"!
birdfreak 24
how old is he?
itsmeyippie 0
clearly old enough to drink since he was drunk
MoCheezy23 0
he's a kid at heart
birdfreak 24
well he might drink underage