Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later, I got a text saying, "I just dropped the bitch off, I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I later asked him about it. He said, "Megan, I have no idea what you're talking about." My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to work to find my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so it was very unusual to find him there. I asked how he was, and he replied, "I told my wife about us; she kicked me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm married and pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" FML
Today, I went to my husband's work to give him lunch. His assistant told me his "wife" was in his office. FML
Today, my husband left his phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being very curious, I called "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML
Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML
Today, my boyfriend texted me saying, "I can come over today. She thinks I've got work." I think he had the wrong number. FML
Today, I waited in the pouring rain for my wife to come pick me up from work. It was only after I was thoroughly drenched that I remembered it was my wife's day off, and that I drove myself to work earlier in her car, which was parked fifty feet from where I was waiting. FML
Today, I went to a bar with some friends when my wife texted me asking where I was. Not wanting her to know I was at a bar, I told her I was still at work. She was sitting in the booth behind me. FML
Today, my husband went to pick my mom up from the airport, but apparently they got in one of their arguments on the way home, so he dumped her at a Starbucks and came home without her. He won’t even tell me which Starbucks, and when I rang her she gave useless directions. FML
Today, I ran into my husband and his mistress. He was picking her up at the airport. I was catching a flight to a conference with my boss. He had flowers for her, and his arm around her. My boss knows my husband as well. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
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Top comments
leesh08 0
=[ that's so horrible!!
equinoxe_fml 2
divorce the bastard.
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Comments (74)
leesh08 0
=[ that's so horrible!!
JuJuBeeSunshine 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
DAAAAMMMMM Gina, you need to pull a "Waiting to Exhale" on him and BURN HIS SHIT!
EIDS 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You deserved that one!~
worldclassrager 41
Deserved to know...I hope is what you meant...
Punku2 4
exactly
Melody_fml 0
yeahs. i'd drop em an fast. cheating on you an callin you a bitch an stuffs...yeah thats NEVER good to say the least. GOODLUCK and hope yous can get a clean divorce without too much hassle
equinoxe_fml 2
divorce the bastard.
xzacharyx 0
thats so shitty, i really don't understand people in the world today.
Seegtease 0
That's a pretty weird mistake for him to make, and not notice that your name popped up on the reply but I guess it's technically possible, but it makes him all the more the imbecile.
NorfolkDude 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Here's what you do. You pretend like you're Megan, get their location of meeting, and tell him that you'll be 10 minutes late. Hurry there, find the woman, beat the living crap out of her, and then when your husband shows up 10 minutes later, beat the crap out of him. Then go get a lawyer. Then when you're leaving, be sure to burn the house down for good measures.
J15237 25
I actually think you have yourself a good idea there. A bit extreme, but still good.
xMaxdeltax 3
Do you think you are going to like prison?
mekal99 2
@xMaxdeltax Hell yea dude why not
Idyedmyhairblack 0
#21... sounds like you've been through it before....
sillypun 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
she probably couldn't deepthroat without gagging or take anal w/o crying. he should move on.
Ana lorde 1
hey