The Top

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By Anonymous - 07/09/2013 23:47 - United States - Irvine

Today, my former high school bully became my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 727

You deserved it 4 045

Facebook Memories

By Anonymous - 20/09/2020 05:03 - Canada

Today, Facebook showed me pictures from five years of a happy time I had traveling with a boyfriend, who later ended our 8-year relationship by telling me he had gotten an apartment and furniture in secret, and was moving out. No warning, no reason, no explanation. He never spoke to me again. I loved him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 921

You deserved it 229

Cute but messy

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 00:00

Today, my kids made a mess in the kitchen while trying to make breakfast in bed for me. The mess was bigger than the breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 217

By koolkat9 - 22/12/2014 19:11 - United States - Albion

Today, my boyfriend told me that my mom paid him to date me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 072

You deserved it 3 319

By Ilovelife07 - 14/01/2010 15:14 - United States

Today, I snuck out of work 2 hours early. As I was speeding away so I wouldn't be seen, I rear-ended my boss as he was leaving the lower parking lot for a late lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 735

You deserved it 46 584

Beliefs

By Martina - 10/02/2026 03:00

Today, I’m pregnant with my boyfriend’s baby. He’s been saying he’s gonna leave his wife for the past 10 months, but there’s constant hemming and hawing. He wants me to get rid of the baby because, “I’ve already raised my own child for 19 years, I don’t got time for this.” I’m Catholic and don’t believe in abortion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 1 358

The healthcare system is broken

By no sleep til - 29/12/2021 11:01

Today, I tried talking to my doctor about my insomnia several times, but all she does is prescribe me antidepressants, and tells me to take melatonin or exercise. I ate two melatonin gummies nearly 12 hours ago. I haven’t slept a wink, and my insurance won’t pay for another doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 151

By I warned him - 19/12/2014 02:39 - United States - Marietta

Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 250

You deserved it 4 653

Ouch

By FML Videos - 19/10/2018 18:30 - United States - New York

Trust no one. Nothing.

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 169

No more yodelling

By Anonymous - 05/03/2023 00:00

Today, I was singing in the shower and my neighbor called the police because they thought I was in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 096

You deserved it 241

Crackers

By smurftastic - 03/09/2013 03:03 - United States - Murrieta

Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 592

You deserved it 3 821

By drfrogpepper - 01/01/2011 23:50 - United States

Today, I was dumped by the guy who serenaded me with his guitar and admitted he had feelings for me. Why? Because the girl who had continuously been rejecting him for so long finally decided to give him a chance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 100

You deserved it 3 616

How come you were there?

By Anonymous - 26/07/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, my best friend is mad at me for "letting my paranoia ruin her relationship." I've been telling her for months now that I don't trust her boyfriend's female best friend, but she never listened to me. Guess who I caught in bed together a few hours ago while my best friend was at work? FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 107

By nonameLiz - 03/02/2010 01:16 - United States

Today, I found out that you can get arrested for holding up a "Free hugs" sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 836

You deserved it 11 614

By Anonymous - 24/09/2012 19:09 - United States

Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 923

You deserved it 2 684

Hey Jude, don't make it bad

By faul - 26/09/2020 05:02 - United States

Today, a lady told me I looked like Paul McCartney in his youth. With that little confidence boost, I told my girlfriend. I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that she didn't know who Paul McCartney is, or how she is now obsessively Googling pictures of him and is practically drooling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 220

By snowball - 29/12/2010 23:32 - Switzerland

Today, as I left my house, the front door slammed shut behind me, causing an entire roof-length of snow to slide over the edge and land directly on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 166

You deserved it 5 784

Pass the parcel

By KatnissEverdeen - 16/12/2021 14:01

Today, my fireplace caught fire. The landlord says renters insurance should cover it. The rental insurance says the landlord should. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 82

No fun allowed

By karmas a kunt - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at work when an elderly lady casually mentioned it was her birthday. I motioned two of my coworkers over, and we sang a little "Happy Birthday" to her over the phone. Our boss stormed in mid-song and suspended all three of us on the spot for "unprofessional behavior." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 829

You deserved it 2 925

By whoawhoawhoa - 28/12/2010 22:04 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 723

You deserved it 5 005

What could go wrong?

By Rebecca - 03/10/2020 23:07

Today, I slipped into an ATM vestibule quickly without a mask. The place smelled like the antiseptic at a doctor's office, so I figured, "What could go wrong?" Not more than 6 hours later, I found out that I’m sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 1 940

By anonymous - 08/12/2014 23:23 - United States - New Baltimore

Today, I found out I have sodium fluoride poisoning. Apparently, my water has a high level of sodium fluorine. I've been drinking much more water lately trying to be healthier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 058

You deserved it 2 768

By fuckalltwitardsintheface - 20/09/2012 21:34 - United States - Lindsey

Today, I went to a new dentist because I've been experiencing occasional toothache. Upon seeing my x-rays, he noticed something odd. Apparently, during a root canal a while ago, a piece of an instrument broke off, and has been lodged within ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 615

You deserved it 1 707

By ohmy. - 27/12/2010 17:52 - United States

Today, my husband yawned in the middle of our wedding vows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 506

You deserved it 7 170

By Anonymous - 08/01/2010 11:48 - United States

Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 927

You deserved it 51 062

Lazy day

By Fail - 17/03/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I got an exercise wheel for my cat. He took a nap on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 318

What are you doing?

By Tyler - 25/08/2013 04:30 - United States

Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 276

You deserved it 9 712

Whine dad

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 16:59

Today, whenever I leave my husband alone with the kids, he still refers to it as "babysitting", especially when he’s complaining about it to his brothers as the reason he never has fun anymore. I always assumed dads were parents too, not unpaid babysitters who get to whine about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 654

You deserved it 262

Leftovers

By Anonymous - 20/03/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, my daughter brought home her class hamster for the weekend. It escaped and we spent hours searching for it. We later found it in the fridge, eating our leftover pizza. I never knew hamsters had such a refined palate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 183

Hanging on in quiet desperation

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Mexico

Today, I have to get an ultrasound at the hospital. In order to get a clear picture, I need to have a full bladder. I've been waiting my turn for 2 hours now, desperately needing to pee. There are still multiple patients ahead of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 137

You deserved it 3 148

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The Top

Today, I was in bed staring at two red lights coming from my DVD player. They reminded me of the terminator movies, and I had to unplug it. I'm 23 years old and scared of The Terminator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 469

You deserved it 9 184

Today, I discovered that the hearing in my left ear is still good. I haven't been able to hear that well out of it for 2 weeks and I thought I popped an eardrum and waited for it to heal. I stuck a Q-Tip in there to clean it out. Turns out there was actually a dead fly in my ear. For 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 269

You deserved it 11 434

Today, my boss threatened to fire me. Why? An old lady spent 30 minutes looking at our menu before asking for "cottage pie." After telling her that it wasn't an item on the menu, she spent another 20 minutes deciding. She then asked for several more items we didn't have, then complained to my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 435

You deserved it 119

Today, I wanted to top up my shower gel dispenser. After carefully squeezing the entire tube into the dispenser, I realized why it looked so white: I'd mixed the remaining shower gel with the entire tube of fancy, expensive, organic body lotion that my grandma had given me for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 1 784

Today, I wanted to show a photo of my cat to my colleague, but my phone fell out of my hand and scrolled to the next photo, a photo of me without a bra. Now he thinks that this is how I tried to let him know that I want a quickie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 470

Today, I went to a self-checkout kiosk and it asked if I wanted to tip. For what? Watching myself scan groceries? I still ended up tipping 10% because I panicked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 465