The Top

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New experience

By ray - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I learned how hard it is to remove peanut butter from your own eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 152

You deserved it 24 383

I just work here

By NathanA - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer because her entrée was too fishy. I'm not the chef, just the waiter, and I work at a fish grill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 564

You deserved it 2 881

Too relaxed

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Scarsdale

Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 100

You deserved it 3 696

Menace to society

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Sacramento

Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 296

You deserved it 3 264

Great, just great

By never_ending_hangover - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took my boyfriend out to meet my coworkers for the first time. I really wanted to impress them, and get them to think how cool we are to hang out with, since I am new to LA. Instead, my boyfriend threw up in my boss's sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 365

You deserved it 4 910

OK, thanks

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Worcester

Today, we had a safety meeting at my warehouse job. They had an entire PowerPoint based around their message, "Stop getting hurt; it costs the company too much money." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 796

You deserved it 4 301

Wake up

By idiot - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was sitting in my car waiting my shift to start. I must've fallen asleep because I woke up to a call from my boss firing me. I was in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 230

You deserved it 23 842

Nature is healing

By kat, ACT - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 710

You deserved it 11 835

Oh no!

By Lily - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - San Antonio

Today, I fell going down the stairs and hit my head on the wall. My parents came frantically running to my side, but only to make sure I hadn't damaged the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 173

You deserved it 2 314

Monolith

By AshWil - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Washington

Today, I accidentally posted an extensive, negative review of the gynecologist I visited earlier this week. I messed up and posted it from my work's customer service email, so now it looks like the large, well-known company I work for had a poor gynecological experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 954

You deserved it 23 540

Release those endorphins!

By hbt51 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Blue Ridge

Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 339

You deserved it 2 010

WWE

By xxlenalunaxx - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, after waiting for two weeks for the right moment to meet my boyfriend's mom, she walked in as I was straddling him, trying to prove that I'd win in a wrestling match. I guess we met, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 809

You deserved it 4 381

Bye!

By mysterygurll1234567 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was fired from my job. The reason? My boss didn't feel comfortable paying his son's girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 062

You deserved it 3 780

It's alive!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I decided I'd take a nap in my car because I got to work very early. As I was waking up from my nap, I saw a cop looking right at me. Turns out, a lady who'd parked her car right next to mine after I was asleep had called the cops on me because she thought I was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 916

You deserved it 4 418

Great idea for a prank

By Lordy - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Saudi Arabia

Today, I went to work to find a picture on my desk of me with my buttcrack showing put there by an anonymous person. FM

I agree, your life sucks 13 892

You deserved it 2 574

Smokey

By aroman2312 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my grandpa decided to charcoal-grill some steaks. Inside the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 565

You deserved it 2 155

Chill out, lady

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Belgium - Gent

Today, I was verbally and physically attacked in a public pool, because I was swimming in what a grandma claimed was her part of the pool. Since I'm a very tolerant person, I calmly tried to talk some reason into the elderly lady. The lifeguard had to come to protect me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 157

You deserved it 1 822

Sneaky

By MrsRODixon - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Pencoed

Today, I received an urgent call from my son's nursery asking me to collect him, saying he was, "lethargic, complaining about being ill and crying." I get there and he's running around, playing, and admitted that he just wanted to come home. They still made me take him home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 177

You deserved it 2 912

Cheap and gross

By ilovemypup - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, while at my job in a candy store, a boy stuck his hand into the bin, contaminating the candy. As I politely explained that the dad had to purchase the affected candy he refused, yelled, then angrily agreed to buy them. The total cost of the candy with the extra pieces? $1.69. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 209

You deserved it 828

It's all balls to me

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Saint Paul

Today, my family was watching a football game and kept mentioning their team's quarterback's name and, as I'm not a football fan by any means, asked them who this was. My grandma then turned to me and said, "This is why you don't have a boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 649

You deserved it 1 392

I'm not getting it, am I?

By FailAtLife - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had a job interview at a restauraunt opening up. One manager hypothetically asked me why I should be hired. I said I was more efficient than most. I left to find I'd locked my keys in the car. It took all the managers to help me get my keys out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 290

You deserved it 34 012

C'mon, do me a solid

By comeonnow - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Coldwater

Today, my mom's boss reversed into my parked car. She expects me to say that it's my fault so she doesn't have her insurance increase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 815

You deserved it 798

Public service announcement

By apaterra - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Washington

Today, I had to come up with a new rule for my library's patrons: If you, your child, or your dog has thrown up on our books, we DON'T WANT THEM BACK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 715

You deserved it 1 580

Dark times

By anaph0re - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - France

Today, it was good fun getting a nice vampire make-up at my drama lesson. It would've been better if I hadn't forgotten my Demak'up. Even better if I could've avoided the crazy glances in the bus home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 801

You deserved it 21 724

Cheer up!

By wintersoldier - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Austria

Today, while trying to comfort my little brother who just injured his leg, I tripped and sprained my ankle. At least he was amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 290

You deserved it 2 439

Goldfinger

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff

Today, I found out my boyfriend doesn’t think it’s important to wipe after he poops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 184

You deserved it 246

Dollar cut

By yosmurf - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my son proudly announced to me that he has been learning to cut out shapes at school, and that he'd cut out some ovals and wanted to show me. He showed me the pictures of Washington, Lincoln, Jefferson and Jackson, and their corresponding bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 166

You deserved it 347

He's probably right

By Ferniferousfern - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my boyfriend of several years outright refuses to come to my best friend's wedding, on the grounds that he'll be "bored." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 531

You deserved it 559

Plus one

By Partyofthree - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I work at a private pool where I can get up to six people in for free. Naturally, I invited my crush. She brought her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 595

You deserved it 1 335

Sex vs. housework

By hesitator - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today, I got excited over a canceled booty call, just so I wouldn't have to clean the apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 095

You deserved it 1 137

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend went to his friends house to drink. He told me he’s a happy drinker, and I believed him. He calls me drunk about three hours later and tells me he’s been thinking about cheating on me for a long time, and that he also thinks about "being with other women." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 869

You deserved it 209

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 2 814

Random

Today, I drove my new car with a manual transmission for the first time by myself. I was at a stoplight and saw a cute guy in the car next to me. He looked my way and gave me "the nod". The light turned green and I tried to go but I stalled out, lurching my car forward right into the car next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 315

You deserved it 26 796

Today, I received a 4 page letter in the post from a woman telling me she was Alan's wife. She spoke about their wedding in 2004, their two beautiful kids who love their daddy very much (she included pictures), and how much she loves him. Alan is my husband of 7 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 912

You deserved it 2 971

Today, I walked out to my car to see a broken window, a bunch of stuff missing, egg shells, and a note that read, "Stop banging my boyfriend." I haven't had anyone in my love life for over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 123

You deserved it 3 088

Today, I was going to end a thing I had with this guy. It turned out that he got back together with his ex-girlfriend and was just using me as a back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 117

You deserved it 4 118

Today, while drinking with my siblings, my brother said out loud at the pub: “I have to go…wipe better”, then he fucked off and didn’t come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 133

Today, I'm officially no longer a teenager. I spent my birthday bedridden, because I've been extremely sick since the day before. This exact scenario happened last year too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 128