The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week

The top of the month

The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Oh, I forgot to mention…

By Driver - 07/09/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I spent an evening teaching my younger brother how to parallel park before his driving test. After an hour, he finally parked perfectly between two cars. I was so proud that I told him we'd nailed it. Then we noticed we were parked in front of someone's driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 261

The squits

By Nina - 17/08/2026 12:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, it’s my first full official day with my adoptive dad. To celebrate, he took me out to a fancy restaurant for lunch. Lunch was great. The ride home less so. Let’s just say spicy lunch plus upset stomach equals diarrhea, which makes for a smelly NOT fun ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 88

Messy bitch

By Clean up - 22/08/2026 22:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by cleaning the entire apartment before he came home. I even lit a candle and put fresh flowers on the table. When he walked in, he stared at everything and said, “Did someone come over?” My boyfriend thought a cleaning service had been hired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 104

Daddy issues

By Anonymous - 31/08/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, we got our daughter's birth certificate. Turns out my husband thought it would be funny to give her a middle name, which we never discussed, and he picked one to sound funny. Not actually going to tell the internet her name, but it’s as bad as calling a boy Ben Dover. I’m furious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 94

Grudge

By Anonymous - 02/09/2026 15:00 - United States - Rialto

Today, it’s like we’re living the dumbest most petty version of Romeo and Juliet ever. My daughter’s boyfriend’s father forced his son to break up with her because the dad and I dated for a year way back in high school. I left him for another guy and apparently he never got over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 111

Growing old is…

By Roy - 04/09/2026 09:00 - The Netherlands - Voorburg

Today, it's been exactly 23 years since my wife and I had sex for the first time. She fell asleep while I was going down on her. Did that ring a bell? No, married her nevertheless. Now I can’t even remember the last time we had sex. Still love her, kind of. I call it my karma, but actually I’m just stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 110

I'm really tired, chief

By sleepy and ill - 06/09/2026 03:00 - United States - Anchorage

Today, my dad now insists I HAVE to be up at 7 am every day. I explained that even after waking up at 7 am for months, my body still couldn’t fall asleep earlier and I stayed chronically sleep deprived. He thinks I’m lying because, “No one’s body works like that.” I’m 30 and can’t move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 133

Mixed messages

By Barry - 19/08/2026 09:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I learned that my wife lets our son play video games while I'm at work to "keep him out of her hair." We had agreed that he was forbidden from gaming until his grades came up, but apparently she can't be bothered to actually parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 74

DIY top tips

By Doug - 24/08/2026 20:00 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I tried to fix a squeaky door myself after watching a five-minute tutorial. I sprayed lubricant into the hinges, opened the door, and felt proud of myself. Then I noticed the entire floor underneath was covered in tiny black drops. I'd apparently used the wrong spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 300

Gulls on film

By Anonymous - 26/08/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I'd signed up for a beginner birdwatching group because I wanted a quiet hobby. Everyone stood silently in a park for 20 minutes staring into a tree. I finally saw something move and whispered, “There!” The group leader looked through his binoculars and said, “That's a plastic bag.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 111

The ex conundrum

By Anonymous - 30/08/2026 03:00 - United States - Boise

Today, an ex professed her love for me. Over the last couple of months I've been talking to another ex, who I'd give damn near anything to be with again. Both cheated on me, and, thinking about it now, my only thought is, "WTF is wrong with me?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 276

The cat owner dance

By Anon - 04/09/2026 12:00 - United States - Toledo

Today, I was carrying a bowl of cereal to the couch when my cat ran between my feet. I somehow saved every drop of milk but launched the cereal across the room. My cat immediately ate the cereal off of the floor and then walked away looking like he had planned it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 95

WHERE IS IT?

By Anonymous - 08/09/2026 00:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I spent Saturday helping my uncle clean out his garage. He told me to throw away a box of “old useless cables.” I did. Later, he asked where the box was because it contained the only charger for his 20-year-old camera. We spent 3 hours searching the recycling bins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 66

Don't drink and Amazon

By Anonymous - 14/08/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I found a package outside my door and assumed that I'd drunk-ordered shit on Amazon. I opened it before checking the label, which I should've done because it was addressed to my neighbor, and contained 6 pounds of live crickets for someone's pet lizard. I have never closed a box faster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 374

Learning curve

By Anonymous - 24/08/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I bought a new alarm clock because I kept sleeping through my phone alarms. The first morning, it went off exactly when planned. I promptly turned it off, went back to sleep for “5 minutes,” and woke up 3 hours later. The clock had been set correctly. I had just gone straight back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 397

Timeless

By Cindell - 02/09/2026 20:00 - United States - Tucson

Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, I overheard my younger coworkers discussing my age. They said, “How old is she? Some days she looks like she's 35 and other days she looks like she's 58!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 87

What did I do this time?

By Anonymous - 04/09/2026 15:00 - United States - Dover

Today, it's been 3 weeks since my girlfriend of 5 years stopped answering any calls or texts. I sent her a long email for closure (for me) only to get a response that she's on vacation. I had no idea she was going away and I don't know what I did. Time to get another dog and be done with "love" for good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 90

Attention to detail

By Anonymous - 08/09/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I had a job interview in a hotel and arrived 20 minutes early. I sat in the lobby practicing answers while watching the elevators. Eventually, the receptionist walked over and asked if I was waiting for someone. I gave her the company name. She pointed across the street. I'd been practicing my interview in the wrong hotel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 271

Busted

By Anonymous - 21/08/2026 09:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, at 6 a.m., the cops burst into our home. My husband was slammed to the ground and I had a gun pointed at me. I was naked and eight months pregnant. We had moved in the day before, they were coming to arrest the previous tenant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 62

Savings

By Chris - 25/08/2026 00:00 - Ireland

Today, I tried to cut my own hair to save €25. I watched three tutorials, used proper scissors, and carefully trimmed the front. It looked fine until I turned around and saw the back in the mirror. I had somehow created a bald-looking patch the size of a coaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 362

Squeaky

By DIY - 28/08/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I finally fixed the squeaky door in my apartment after ignoring it for months. I tightened the hinges, added oil, and opened and closed it several times to check. That night, I realized the noise I'd been hearing wasn't the door. It was my neighbor's wardrobe on the other side of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 85

Smooth operator

By Anonymous - 01/09/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today, I used a men's hair removal cream to be smooth for my partner, as a surprise. It turns out that doing that made her think I was cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 87

You make a good point

By Donguri29 - 02/09/2026 22:00 - United States - Feasterville

Today, I (Male, 37) realized how peaceful my life was without social media involved. Why did I not do this before, back when I was in high school at the age of 17 by saving myself the anger and stress of toxic social media users? Looks like I'll never get those 20 years of my life back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 287

Islands in the stream [derogatory]

By Anonymous - 06/09/2026 12:00 - Türkiye

Today, I noticed that I hardly communicate with anyone anymore. Yet another friend has sent a random link to our Messenger conversation with, “It’s just to remind myself about it.” Apparently our friendships have evolved into using each other as bookmarks instead of actually talking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 217

You deserved it 92

Mom knows best

By Anonymous - 16/08/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my mom once again told me that I'm too young and immature to get married, and that I don't know what love is. I'm 29, have a successful career, own my own home, and am financially stable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 69

Quack

By Anonymous - 17/08/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I stopped at a park because a duck was following me. I assumed it wanted food, so I gave it a small piece of bread. It followed me to my car, waited beside the door, and then followed me across the parking lot. I may have accidentally adopted a duck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 140

Raincheck?

By Anonymous - 21/08/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, it was my classmate’s turn to host our study group. Her house was a total nightmare! Every surface was covered in junk, the walls were smeared, and there was a thick layer of trash on the floor. She casually swept crumbs off the couch and motioned for me to sit down. I saw roaches and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 64

Cost effective

By Anonymous - 26/08/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I work in the tech industry so the plot is rather too long for 300 letters, but suffice it to say that my boss implemented a £3400 solution to a £7 problem, then successfully blamed me when the client questioned the sudden increase in costs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 48

What happened?

By Anonymous - 30/08/2026 12:00 - United States - Charlotte

Today, and every day, I miss my best friend. We haven’t talked in 6 months and probably never will again, and I don’t know how to face down the rest of my life knowing the one person I’m most excited to share it with doesn’t want to be involved. Life goes on, but it no longer sparkles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 121

Shouldn't you be at the ER?

By Anonymous - 08/09/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I finally gave in and agreed to try holding my girlfriend's pet tarantula. The moment I did, it bit me. According to her she’s had him 4 years and he’s never so much as nipped her, never mind a full bite. Lucky me. My hand is twice the normal size and I can feel my heartbeat in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 64

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Health Healthy Lifestyle Smoking Ironic Grandparents Cute Kids Family Pregnancy Gross Work Miscellaneous Weird Love Tinder NSFW Sex Intimacy I need your advice Dogs Animals Transportation Cars Argument Cheating Break-ups Awkward Parenting Embarrassing Coworkers

The Top

Today, while riding the bus, I saw my ex-girlfriend get on. Despite several seats being open, she specifically sat next to me. I was at first happy, thinking she might want to make up. Nope, she instead blocked me in with her bag and spent the entire time showing me pictures of her new lover's dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 075

You deserved it 1 137

Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 81

Random

Today, I got a call from my cable company in regards to a bill I didn't pay. I paid the bill two weeks ago in full, but they never told me the account changed when my name was put on the account. So now I owe $170 more, and my ex-roommate is getting a $140 refund in the mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 512

You deserved it 2 328

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 342

You deserved it 4 155

Today, I got a call from work stating that my employment was being terminated. This was after being suspended while they investigated my sexual harassment claim. Their reason for firing me: misuse of company time. Yes, I suppose reporting being sexually harassed is a huge waste of time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 394

You deserved it 4 874

Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 292

You deserved it 15 001

Today, I walked into work to see my boss's hot son. I wanted him to notice me, so I did my "sexy walk". I then slipped and fell onto my desk, broke my desk, and sprained my wrist. Oh he noticed me alright. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 330

You deserved it 50 327

Today, while still desperately trying to be civil to my ex for the sake of our kids, I went round to his flat and found him passed out drunk with his air pistol on the floor. He’d been using pictures of me as targets. I think "civil" might be a hopeless goal at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 376

You deserved it 178