Anonymous
Portland, United States
Thnks…
Today, it's my 66th birthday. My parents gave me a Stinging Cactus. It's already stuck me 5 times. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
thanksdad
Dublin, Ireland
Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML
Jon
United States
Brown and sticky
Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML
Anonymous
Las Vegas, United States
Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar of wrinkle cream from a market research company, and an ad from a funeral home. FML
NosChersVoisins
Bordeaux, France
Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML
Username
United States
Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML
birthdayfun
United States
Today, it's my birthday. My mom decided to wake me up by having our new, previously stray, cat thrown on top of me. I was awoken to two claws ripping across my face which needed 16 stitches to fix. Happy Birthday. FML
yomamma787
United States
It hurts when I pee
Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML
Anonymous
Birthday Boy
Today, it's my 16th birthday. It's also it is the day my parents scheduled my wisdom teeth to be pulled out. Happy birthday to me, then. FML
Anon
United States
Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML
Top comments
ahabsfan 17
Does the cactus move on its own or are you just an idiot?
jlc82 14
well stop going near it
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Comments (4)
ahabsfan 17
Does the cactus move on its own or are you just an idiot?
jlc82 14
well stop going near it
SAgirl 24
Your parents are still alive? That is gift enough.
Charlie Given 28
I assume your parents did not know that that is considered an insult gift, something usually given to people you don't like?