By damselfly - 27/03/2012 00:28 - Canada - Montreal
The Top
damselfly tells us more.
Freaky
By death bed - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Schaumburg
By American idol - 06/04/2011 06:19
By Anonymous - 05/12/2013 19:10 - United Kingdom - Washington
By WTF - 07/03/2011 09:19
By WPA2 OR DEATH - 07/12/2012 21:49 - Australia - Queanbeyan
By kittyslayer - 15/12/2011 02:46 - United States
Driving is expensive
By Bladerunner - 01/12/2011 09:49 - United States
Honesty
By bridezilla - 31/12/2014 07:47 - New Zealand - Auckland
By panickygrl - 06/11/2011 17:43 - United States
By pass_the_tp - 13/01/2010 02:57 - United States
Showered
By stew - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
By parkinglotslayer - 11/06/2009 02:28 - United States
By Anonymous - 12/09/2014 13:17 - United States - Fort Myers
Give it to me, Sheldon!
By oh lord - 27/05/2012 16:06 - Canada - Oshawa
By Anonymous - 19/04/2013 05:14 - Canada - Clairmont
By justinherass - 28/03/2009 05:43 - Canada
By wah wah "you raised him" - 22/04/2014 18:59 - United States - San Francisco
By minauto - 27/02/2014 23:58 - United States - San Antonio
minauto tells us more.
This actually happened to my boyfriend but he posted it from my account since he doesn't own a smartphone himself. he pulled his engine from his car to work on it (he's an auto tech student) and had been without a car for a few days. luckily he was planning on getting a new ignition, he wasn't however planning on replacing a perfectly good window... but thanks for all the comments guys, i'll be sure to let him know about all the support!
By Anonymous - 26/05/2015 15:12 - United States - San Francisco
By Anonymous - 02/05/2015 02:22 - United States - San Francisco
By henrylikestreats - 30/04/2015 18:04 - United States - Mayer
henrylikestreats tells us more.
All of these puns have me in tears, I swear. I am currently growing out my hair after cutting it all off to be donated. It has gone through every awkward stage imaginable, including the constantly-in-my-eyes stage, the is-it-long-enough-for-a-ponytail stage, and, of course, the mullet. After a few weeks of dealing with the mullet, I decided to cut it, and that is how I ended up with this mess. I have heard Shrek quotes everywhere I have gone since and I can't stop laughing at myself. Thank you for making my night, everybody.
By fatty - 29/04/2015 01:36 - United States - West Chester
High hopes
By Anonymous - 28/02/2011 00:29 - United States
By Anonymous - 22/11/2012 17:35 - Australia - Melbourne
By WalnutGaming - 22/10/2013 19:20 - United States - Silver Spring
WalnutGaming tells us more.
Hey guys. I did end up finding my dog. For those who said get a treat or meat, my dog would be way down the street by that time. My dog had stopped to "say Hi" to my neighbor and her dog. I used this method because my dog was trained to come to me when I lay down, but something made him run instead. In training meat was put on the ground and I was put on the ground and my dog chose me first over the meat. He is a good dog really, this is his first actual stunt hes pulled. Anyway, just thought it'd be nice to fill you guys in.
By Gg - 23/07/2009 21:19 - United Kingdom
Got talent?
By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 20:56 - United States - Collingswood
By Anonymous - 15/09/2013 07:53 - United States - Carbondale
By Eyeslick - 20/02/2016 07:42 - United States - Salt Lake City
Eyeslick tells us more.
Yes you're correct! But let me Somme a little light on the subject(warning my reply includes religion so if you're just going to hate....just don't read this!) Where I live there are two big universities that are well known and both are some of the top ranking schools in the United states. That's why my family has been going there for a long time, and the reason why I was hoping to be able to attend said school (plus their soccer team was interested in me).This school is very difficult to get into, and well not to toot my own horn, I easily had the after school activities and grades to get into said school. After praying about why I wasn't accepted I received the distinct impression that I need to go to the other school because I am needed there for some reason....so well I guess I'll see what that means some day. Luckily I also applied to this second school because out of the two this one has a better medical school, which applies more towards my major of choice. I also have scholarships at this second school so that's a bonus. So in the end I guess everything ends a lot better then expected.
Keywords
OP here--had to get an FML account to comment. To my roommate's credit, she had the mess all cleaned up by the time I got home--only the smell was left. I can't blame her for having snakes, either, since I moved into the apartment knowing she had them, and being ok with it. Can't say I'm too thrilled with her storing the rats in the freezer, but they do have to eat, and I least I was able to put my foot down on her thawing them in the oven (seriously, WTF?). A couple of people asked why she was feeding her snakes dead rats. Apparently, it's pretty controversial among snake owners, but most people feel it's inhumane to feed live. You'd be surprised, but feeding live is actually very dangerous to the snake--since the feeder rats can't run away (being in a tank with a snake), they fight instead. My roommate has a rescued snake whose last owners fed it live--the poor thing is covered with scars. Snakes can die that way. @18--Sadly, I know exactly what rotted snake smells like...*sigh* Roommate got ahold of a dead Burmese python (it was not a pet), and wanted to preserve the skeleton for educational purposes, but didn't get the right beetles ahead of time. I said there was absolutely no way it was coming in the house, but she did, once (to try a different method of getting the flesh off the bones). It was...unbelievable. Had no idea something could smell that bad. That was actually just 2 weeks ago, and the smell only just got out when the rat incident happened. I'm too tolerant, methinks. She's what you might call eccentric. @12--Thanks for the advice about the vaccuum sealer :) She said she'd thought of it, but can't afford it right now.