Today, my bitch of a boss sent out a group text saying she'd had a chainsaw accident and lost the tips of 4 of her fingers and would be out indefinitely. When I told my boyfriend, his immediate response was to grab my phone and reply "I'm stumped, I don't know what to say." She hasn't responded yet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had an emergency appendectomy, so I texted my boss to let him know about the situation. He replied that it'd be good for my continued employment prospects if I came into work tomorrow. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML
Today, my boss mistakenly drunk-texted me and was talking shit about me. FML
Today, I had a major falling out with my best friend. Angry, I sent a short text message to him explaining how I felt. I soon noticed I'd accidentally texted "I'm going to fucking kill you, asshole." to my boss instead. I'm still waiting on a reply. FML
Today, I had an argument with my boss and tried to text a friend about it. I accidentally texted my boss instead. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend's boss. She was wondering if he was okay, since he hasn't shown up to work for the past two weeks. Now I'm wondering where he's been going when he leaves the house each day. FML
Today, I collided heads at a soccer game and needed 13 stitches in my head. I texted all my contacts to let them know I was in the hospital. I got back one response that said "bitch got what you deserve" it was from my cousin. No one else ever texted me back. FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML
Today, I had a seizure for the first time in months. My fiancé went over to my job to let them know I wouldn't be going in. My boss bitched both of us because I didn't call myself. Sure, I'll get right on that when I'm conscious. FML
Today, I got a heads-up that my boss suffered a death in the family, but was coming into work anyway. I thought he'd be depressed, but it seems he deals with grief with anger instead. I found that out when he yelled at me, threatening to rip my spine out my ass over a typo I made in a report. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
You should volunteer to be an organ donor. Tell her you'd be happy to give her the finger.
fmyinternet 13
Ask her for some "tips" on how to explain the situation
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Comments (60)
SoulFrog 7
ouch
fmyinternet 13
Ask her for some "tips" on how to explain the situation
RichardPencil 32
You should volunteer to be an organ donor. Tell her you'd be happy to give her the finger.
SixthSinEnvy 39
I accidentally thumbed down this brilliant comment. Add one more count for me.
NYM88 26
I bet that pun cut her deep. Real deep.
ScratchCatPower 32
Brace yourselves! Puns incoming...
ShortieRose 30
I guess she just can't put her finger on what to say!
lambda_fml 40
Nor can she use it to type a reply.
Willman757 15
Ask her to point out the root cause of the accident.
Cebolamole 13
Is it just me or was the "bitch" part completely irrelevant for this post?
ColdCreasent 17
Actually, it makes us feel less sympathetic to the boss and feel that OP's behaviour is acceptable instead of insensitive. So I think that part was needed.
InfiniteSunshine 32
Maybe they used it because since the boss is a bitch, she especially wouldn't be happy with that kind of response. She could retaliate or something. Also, it could be used to convey that OP is happy that she's out indefinitely.
Lalala579121 28
12 - OP's behavior was to tell her boyfriend about it. I'm pretty sure that's acceptable regardless of whether the boss is a bitch or not. And just because the boss is a bitch wouldn't make it not insensitive.
9a_z1 11
Even if she's a bitch the boyfriend sounds like a major douche. The accident sounds horrible, she'd have to be more than just a bit of a bitch for me to think she deserved a response like that.
DoomedGemini 38
I hope op updates with example of why she's a bitch. Someone saying this person is a bitch doesn't make me think they are so really they still only seem insensitive to me
Reasonable_one 12
Actually, it makes me think less of the OP and sympathize less with her. Maybe the boss should have fired the disrespectful employee well before the accident. Now, the boyfriend is definitely a piece of work but based on the needless "bitch" adjective used by the OP, maybe the are right for each other.
SneezyBear 27
Hi "reasonable one". I take it you are OP's bitch of a boss?
juuuliaaa_fml 28
I was just thinking the same thing.
Oceanborn_fml 24
The bitch part only makes OP look worse than necessary.
HylianBadger 21
#22 Would being stupid warrant a response like OP's boyfriend? There was a guy where I work who had cut his own foot open while chopping wood at home because he thought flip flops would be acceptable footwear for the task. Accidents happen, but some of them are deserving. It just depends on the situation.
meheem 13
I think the bitch part there was to show why OPs boyfriend might have wanted to send a response like that. Also I wouldn't call OP insensitive. She definitely didn't approve of her boyfriends action which is why she thought its FML worthy.
DoomedGemini 38
Read op's name. They're upset because the boss will see the comment, not that it was made.
worldclassrager 41
What's wrong a get well soon text?
mezochan 29
I don't think you just "get well" from losing the tips of four of your fingers...
sarcasmismyno1 22
I bet she didn't "saw" that coming!
queenofirony 12
"Never saw..." Come on, that was an easy fix.