The Top

hey, op here, he already agreed to pay for the yard to be fixed, and im not gonna destroy his car, hes a good guy, known him since i moved in(years) but he does stupid stuff at times.

By Anonymous - 03/09/2017 20:00

Today, while eating s'mores with my boyfriend's family, I misplaced my false tooth. With a team of flashlights and hurt pride, my expensive tooth was found. In dog shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 477

You deserved it 491

Hold tight

By Anonymous - 29/08/2019 16:00 - United States

Today, I had a really important meeting for my career. The guy I was supposed to be meeting was driving from across the state, and it was supposed to begin at noon. It's now 4. What if I leave and he shows up after having driven across the state? I don't dare move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 809

You deserved it 178

By Anonymous - 02/09/2019 04:00 - New Zealand - Invercargill

Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 844

You deserved it 168

By Bananapi - 10/09/2017 13:00

Today, my flatmate moved in with me. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to me, so did her mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 853

You deserved it 243

By socially awkward cupcake - 16/02/2017 15:52

Today, a guy I like tried to talk to me. I got so nervous that I had a panic attack and puked in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 766

You deserved it 411

Can he fix it?

By Chelsy - 11/09/2019 12:00 - Australia - Canberra

Today, I found out that when my boyfriend is drunk he pretends to be Bob the Builder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 388

You deserved it 217

Top brass

By Lipstick lez - 15/05/2021 11:02

Today, my boss told me to kick out of the hotel anyone who was clearly a prostitute trolling for men. I spotted a woman in a miniskirt approaching a guy in the bar, so I told her politely to leave. Despite the skirt, turns out she's the hotel manager and the man was her fiancé. I got fired so hard and fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 912

One law for thee…

By Anonymous - 16/05/2021 22:00

Today, I realized my mom is a big hypocrite for telling me sex is wrong and sinful outside marriage, because I just worked out from their marriage certificate my mom must have been pregnant with me in college, and I was born after they’d only been married for four weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 506

You deserved it 194

Cruel Summer

By placard3 - 02/10/2019 20:02

Today, I went to the hospital to get a cast that I have been wearing for the past three months removed from my wrist. Thanks to said cast, I couldn't have any summer fun at all. The doctor took a final X-ray and said, "Well look at that, your wrist wasn't fractured to begin with." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 991

You deserved it 164

By BetterThanWastingItIGuess - 11/11/2017 19:00 - Panama - Panama

Today, after almost a year of working two jobs, I managed to save up $2,000. I decided to treat myself to a week in Japan, but while walking to the Japanese Embassy to exchange my dollars for yen, I got robbed at gunpoint. I had the money in cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 741

You deserved it 819

Great, some ice cream!

By Anna - 11/10/2019 06:00

Today, after three years of working at my current occupation, they decided to give me a bonus for all of my hard work and effort. A 5$ gift card to Cold Stone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 674

You deserved it 210

Coach Class

By GetFuzzy - 18/10/2019 12:00

Today, I was on the phone with my diet coach. I was telling her how I lost 3 pounds this week. I was saying this while eating a bag of chips, a beer in my hand and cooking a 3-meat pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 2 093

The Rainbow Bridge

By fishyrael - 30/10/2019 20:00

Today, at my job at a pet store, my boss told me to go outside and hand out flyers. I saw a man sitting on a bench and walked up, saying, "Hi! Do you have a pet?" He teared up and said, "I just put her down this morning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 263

You deserved it 183

Ingredients check

By Anonymous - 22/06/2021 18:00

Today, my boyfriend told me the sauce he made for our dinner that was meat-based, trying to show me how nice meat is and stop me being a weirdo vegan. The reason I’m vegan is because my digestive system can’t handle animal protein. I’m writing this from the bathroom, vomiting myself to death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 477

You deserved it 197

**** that guy (not literally)

By Anonymous - 09/09/2022 20:30

Today, my date saw me naked, and was disgusted that 1. I shaved my pubes into a landing strip instead of completely bald, and 2. I missed a few hairs below my knee while shaving my legs. His actual words as he was half out the door were that he "wanted Princess Leia, not Chewbacca." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 247

You deserved it 290

Unreasonable

By Busting my hump - 17/01/2024 00:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, I'm on my sixth straight day of double shifts, with four more to go. I make overtime so I'm not complaining, but today my wife texted me, "Going out of town tonight, I expect the house to be spotless when I return." Not sure how I'm going to swing this one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 676

You deserved it 130

By Sod's Law in action - 17/03/2018 01:30

Today, I turned up to my job interview ready for any question, with impeccable references and previous work experience. Then I saw that one of my interviewers was the lady I accidentally hit with my bicycle last week. She still has stitches in her cheek. No job for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 004

You deserved it 1 155

Call 'em now

By Anonymous - 01/08/2021 02:01

Today, I had to tell my adult daughter that living in a pigsty house, breastfeeding when she can be bothered, changing a nappy only once a day, and leaving the baby at any relative's house while she shops is not adequate parenting, and unless she improves, I’m getting social services involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 436

You deserved it 180

America, **** yeah

By BrazilianGal - 12/08/2021 02:01

Today, a lady at the clothing store told me to, “Stop speaking 'Mexicano', this is America!” when I was talking on the phone. I actually speak Portuguese. When I pointed this out, she verbally tortured me and threatened to, “Call the cops” if I didn’t leave her store for, “making her feel threatened.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 313

You deserved it 182

At this point, it's just self-sabotage

By Just be a man - 10/10/2025 00:00

Today, I find video games very unattractive and unmanly. I told a great guy that he had to choose between me and his video games, and he immediately told me he chose video games, then asked me to leave. Whatever, loser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 1 741

By CorinnenotaplanB - 28/07/2018 01:30

Today, my date for this weekend called and asked if he could bring his possible new girlfriend on our weekend getaway as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 816

You deserved it 284

Cartoon villain

By get tf over it! - 30/06/2020 20:02

Today, I had a Skype interview for a wonderful new job. I was calm, cool and ready to land it. But just like in a bad movie, the interviewer ended up being the creepy guy I turned down repeatedly in high school and in our 20s. He smirked and told me I could continue, but it would be pointless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 809

You deserved it 703

What goes around…

By Anonymous - 02/08/2020 20:01

Today, my wife demanded that I cut all ties with my best friend, just because she doesn't like the jokes he tells. Now she's bitching that she's upset because his wife, who she works with, is talking about her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 549

You deserved it 351

Sounds like a sitcom

By Anonymous - 08/02/2023 16:00

Today, I had to warn the decorator we hired to stop being inappropriate with my wife or I’d fire his ass. Turns out not only is he gay, like super gay with his husband on Facebook, he’s also my wife’s old college buddy. He started crying on our sofa and my wife hit me with her handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 1 766

Wrap it

By Anonymous - 28/02/2023 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I’m 16 years-old, father to a four month-old baby, and I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 1 695

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I went into work thinking it was my last day before I start my new job, as my 2-week notice said to the managers that I can't work after today. None of them believed that I was actually capable of getting a better job and thought my 2-week notice was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 943

You deserved it 983

Today, I met one of my fiancé's coworkers. Normally I'd never ask how far along someone's pregnancy is without being 100% sure they're not just fat, but she seemed fit. Well, I now know that virtually all the fat in some people's bodies can go straight to their gut and nowhere else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 863

You deserved it 6 396

Today, I spent my last $50 to get a ticket to take my daughter out for a nice birthday dinner tonight. It wasn't until after I purchased it that I realized the restaurant isn't even open on Mondays. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 931

You deserved it 5 586

Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 911

You deserved it 2 127

Today, I was prescribed two different medications. I was also informed that they will both give me diarrhea for the next two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 613

You deserved it 105

Today, I'm running on two hours sleep thanks to our new baby. My partner slept all night, and when I asked them to take over so I could have a nap, they ran to bed, saying that they needed to sleep. Why? Apparently, the baby noise woke them up "once or twice" and they needed the extra sleep more than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 342

You deserved it 250