Today, I found myself in the unenviable position of buying tampons, chocolate, ice cream, and condoms for a woman I’m in love with, but am not dating. She asked me to get them since I was going to the shops anyway. I want to die. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got to spend the entire day shopping for lingerie with the man of my dreams. He bought everything I'd ever wanted and more! Too bad it was for another woman. FML
Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML
Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML
Today, my wife got her period. Every single time, she ends up asking me to go buy her some Midol after a few days of trying to tough it out, so I decided to buy her some ahead of time. She reacted by yelling at me for treating her like a child and implying that she couldn't go buy it herself. FML
Today, my fiancee asked me to text her a grocery list. I asked for meat, fruit, vegetables, you know, the staples. She came back with tons of sugar cereal, pop tarts, cookie dough, and other unhealthy crap. We have no other food, our monthly budget is gone, and junk food gives me horrible stomach cramps. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, my girlfriend is locked in the bathroom crying because I didn't buy her anything for Valentine's Day, even though Friday, at her suggestion, we agreed not to exchange gifts because both of our birthdays are a week away. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything. I replied, "Guess." He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently, I've been bitchy. FML
Today, I was meal-planning for the week, and sent my fiancee a grocery list with the stuff I needed. She ignored the list and bought nothing but junk food. I guess we can just eat cookie dough and sugar cereal, and die of diabetes in our fifties. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Marcella1016 32
Have you tried asking her out? If you have and she rejected you, put some distance between you to spare yourself this constant feeling of rejection. You should be be putting yourself through this. Haven’t asked her out? Nut up and shoot your shot. If she rejects, see above. If she accepts, you can, you know...nut up and shoot your shot.
cuz803 46
I sense a simp. Either ask her out or stop simping for her. Respect yourself before you respect others. If she rejects or already has, quit talking to her because she's using you.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (9)
Marcella1016 32
Have you tried asking her out? If you have and she rejected you, put some distance between you to spare yourself this constant feeling of rejection. You should be be putting yourself through this. Haven’t asked her out? Nut up and shoot your shot. If she rejects, see above. If she accepts, you can, you know...nut up and shoot your shot.
cuz803 46
I sense a simp. Either ask her out or stop simping for her. Respect yourself before you respect others. If she rejects or already has, quit talking to her because she's using you.
Brightside86 31
Plot twist, your have a surprise date coming up.
RichardPencil 32
To your shopping list, add: 1. One pair of balls 2. A spine 3. An ounce of self-respect. Once you have those, then you'll tell her that you'll buy her shit only if you get to use the condoms (and for *******, not a water balloon fight.)
core01 30
Stop pretending to be her friend if all you want is a romantic relationship. You're being manipulative while somehow casting yourself as victim in this. Either be her friend or leave.
poopface82 25
What the hell is your end game? Figure that out and actively pursue it. None of this simpy wimpy bullshit.
RawrXD 4
Wow! If you feel like dying because you aren't getting anything in return for doing a simple favor for a natural occurance, you should get some help and leave the poor woman alone
BurnInDemonFire 39
Don't die! She'll have to pay out for a new doormat when she already has one she got for free!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
And you're doing this for her why?...