Today, my mom has a habit of trying to pull out what she thinks are loose hairs in my beard. My beard hairs are actually just really, really long, not falling off. She'll confidently yank one that she thinks isn't attached, causing a sharp pain until she realizes it's attached. I don't know how to make her stop. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom told me that I need to shave my beard because it's getting too long. This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that I'm a woman. FML
Today, in front of my friends, my mom came after me with a pair of tweezers exclaiming, "There's just a couple of hairs on your chin that need to be plucked." I'm a 14 year-old girl. FML
Today, I discovered that my mother uses my eyebrow tweezers to pull ticks off the dog. She also hasn't figured out that just dipping the tweezers in alcohol doesn't automatically sterilize them. Especially if there is icky dog hair still stuck on. FML
Today, my parents kept overreacting over stupid stuff during dinner. I found a hair in a dish, so I removed it myself. My mom goes, "Is that a hair? Is it?! I'll get rid of it!" I told her that I'd already done it myself. Then, because I bit my nail once, my dad constantly kept asking if I was OK, even though I'd said I was. He wouldn't stop! FML
Today, while vainly running a comb through my balding hair, I noticed a hair sticking out of my nose. I yanked it out, and the pain made me tear up a little. It was an inch long. I'm 24 and beginning to have more hair in my nose than on my head. FML
Today, I discovered that my mom bought roll on stick glue that looks quite a bit like deodorant. It was early in the morning and I was groggy. Long story short, I had to cut every one of my pit hairs. FML
Today, I realized that it's become a regular occurrence for my mother and me to talk about our pubic hair. I don't know which is worse, the fact that I now know that she shaves it, or the fact that we even talk about this stuff. FML
Today, I watched as my girlfriend painfully plucked her eyebrows for half an hour. She is willing to do this, but not shave her armpits on a regular basis. FML
Today, my mum started yelling at me for leaving scissors on my desk, which my five year-old sister found and chopped all her hair off. She had a lump of hair as proof. After three minutes of her yelling, me crying and apologizing, she laughed and said she was joking. She'd just given my sister a haircut. FML
Today, I found out my mum has been using my electric shaver for several months to shave her pubes and underarms. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
kltkiara 6
Yank a hair off her head every time she yanks one off your beard
FluffythePink 23
Spray bottle.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (9)
OblivionChild 13
Is just telling her to stop not an option?
JackWood 21
You could try trimming your beard so all the hairs are the same length. Or just shave the whole think off. Your welcome.
kltkiara 6
Yank a hair off her head every time she yanks one off your beard
FluffythePink 23
Spray bottle.
ThorCTF 12
Best idea so far
Yudith 28
I think your mom wants you to shave your beard entirely. That's an attack on beard if I ever saw one.
Hangryko 32
Short of finding your own place (very difficult these days), wear a beard bib around her. Tell her in no uncertain terms you don't give her consent to touch your beard when the bib isn't on.
suntrkr 9
If you're old enough to grow a full beard, why are you still living at Mom's? Cut the cord. Otherwise, quit sniveling.
BurnInDemonFire 39
I was old enough to grow a full beard at 14, and could buy **** mags without being carded (those were the days), and started buying booze no problem at 16. Still lived with my parents then because ironically I couldn't get a job.
core01 30
Shave
great_nate 26
She’s doing it intentionally.