Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. Foreplay was amazing, but as soon as he started to get it in, he lost his erection because he was too nervous. He's a 30-year-old virgin and this has happened at least 10 times. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML
Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, I met up with my boyfriend early before work to have some "fun time". We hadn't had sex in a while and decided to try it doggy style, up against the wall. We had been doing it for about 15 minutes until he abruptly stopped and said, "I don't know if it's in." It was. FML
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML
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Top comments
xGet_Over_It 0
what the hell is this? 16 year olds talking about their "boyfriends" erected penis?
wags883 0
my boyfriend tries that too. by the time the tips in he's hard as a rock :)
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Comments (171)
RAGS702 0
Turn on your TV and order some of the free samples from all of the annoying infomercials that help with that problem and surprise him with a nicely presented gift basket to start the mood. He'll love it! maybe you will to...?....
perdix 31
I like the "unerected" *******. It's amazing how it grows in the process. I've owned the thing my whole life and it still amazes me!
HarperGirl 4
interesting comment
sighamissmaya 0
way the hell is unerected mean? like I don't mean to sound like a dumbass but I've never heard that weird
ChristinaLuv 0
Even if it's not the correct word, you know well what that means. Stop trying to be a smartass. Unless you are a complete idiot and really don't get what 'unerected' means.
HarperGirl 4
or she just might be a younger person some parents never talk to their children not everybody knows all the technical terms so don't criticize someone you don't even know she could 9 or 10 for all we know and she might even be from a different country so shut up
HarperGirl 4
or she just might be a younger person some parents never talk to their children not everybody knows all the technical terms so don't criticize someone you don't even know she could 9 or 10 for all we know and she might even be from a different country so shut up
butterflyhearts 0
woww i knew that when I was 10 but anyyways unerected means that the guy isnt ummm i guess hard. He doesnt have a boner. His stick isnt up. His stick shift isnt in gear(very weird i know), his penis isnt up, the blood hasnt rushed down to his ****, his pecker isnt ready to peck. Any one of these that you can understand then umm good for you. :)
holaworld 0
wooow! hes a skezzz. dump his ass and find a better guy
bibi2223 0
ummm....ok. good luck explaining it to him.
MysteryMan808 0
maybe that's you're bf way if telling you that oral is needed. in other words, if it ain't hard, SUCK IT!
Cjraven606 0
I second #47
quascadL 0
What about his side of the story i bet its like. "Today, i was having sex with my girlfriend several times, when i went down on her, by one lick, it tasted so bad, like expired tuna.FML"
jayeterror775 18
If it tastes like chicken, keep on licking. If it tastes like trout, get the **** out =).
shymissfit 0
I don't get it..My boyfriend and I have done that many times. I love the feeling of him getting harder and longer inside me. I see nothing wrong with this.
allen20 0
i sixtheen #21