Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. Foreplay was amazing, but as soon as he started to get it in, he lost his erection because he was too nervous. He's a 30-year-old virgin and this has happened at least 10 times. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML
Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, I met up with my boyfriend early before work to have some "fun time". We hadn't had sex in a while and decided to try it doggy style, up against the wall. We had been doing it for about 15 minutes until he abruptly stopped and said, "I don't know if it's in." It was. FML
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML
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Top comments
xGet_Over_It 0
what the hell is this? 16 year olds talking about their "boyfriends" erected penis?
wags883 0
my boyfriend tries that too. by the time the tips in he's hard as a rock :)
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Comments (171)
xbj209 0
I 21st #21
KOsWiFe 0
i agree with 51!
ihateusersnames 0
Can't cook with a wet noodle. (:
stephd2010 0
I'm a lesbian and even I know that shit don't work...
joeyrocks 0
I agree with 144 same thing with me
SexyTool 0
You all fail. I'm regularly going in at least semi-flaccid, if not completely flaccid. The only other alternative is copious amounts of lube.... which results in almost zero pleasure for ME.
oarisimo 4
wtf?!?!
Frenchface 0
sad
Courtney_Sanders 6
If you and your boyfriend are naked, together, about to have sex and he's not even hard.. There's something wrong.
massacreman3000 1
its called flacid, dearie.