Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, starting to get intimate with him, when one of his friends walked into the room, grabbed my leg, and pulled me onto the floor. His reason? He was hungry and wanted to go to McDonald's. FML
Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML
Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML
Today, my boyfriend crashed his car while I was giving him road head. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebee's for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked, "How was it?" he says, "It was terrible", to which I said, "The food was that bad?" He replies, "No, the sex". FML
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML
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Top comments
PrimeEvilTahir 24
Not so happy meal..
stryder9090 28
He's loving it
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Comments (86)
factsarelife 7
Uhm?
wvcheesehead 13
Probably the wrong kind of car, the classic 4 door sedan is best, plus you get that nostalgic feeling as if you may have been conceived in one. The sub compacts are the worst... I still have injuries from a Subaru Justy.
aria78 19
Why is everyone saying she should have helped him finish and not one person said anything about how maybe he should help her finish. at least he got a mcdonald's bag.
steam_engenius 21
That's exactly how I feel. Reflection of our society, I guess.
wolfdust 5
God I will never be able to look at one of those bags again
BicBoi996 12
well that descalated quickly
briiiiiiii123 10
my post originally said "for the first time" but for some reason it was taken out...maybe that'll help make more sense of it!
jazzy735 11
both should've just done oral so in the end you're both satisfied without having to finish yourself off
zzappe 6
Only in America!
eddy1965 6
So he did want that super sized.
eightbithero 12
Bada! Ba! Ba! Bah! He's rubbing it!