Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, starting to get intimate with him, when one of his friends walked into the room, grabbed my leg, and pulled me onto the floor. His reason? He was hungry and wanted to go to McDonald's. FML
Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML
Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML
Today, my boyfriend crashed his car while I was giving him road head. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebee's for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked, "How was it?" he says, "It was terrible", to which I said, "The food was that bad?" He replies, "No, the sex". FML
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML
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Top comments
PrimeEvilTahir 24
Not so happy meal..
stryder9090 28
He's loving it
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Comments (86)
ToxicMoo33 18
Pathetic.
squarecircles 13
"Would you like that super sized?"
vikky538 29
that's called Misdirection...
loserman67 36
"Special sauce" from his Big Mac?
Miscellanonymous 8
*bahapapapa* not loving it?
gregnc_fml 18
Maybe a Happy Meal before sex isn't good for the libido?
copperchinchilla 19
future kids meal
dvp_fml 8
Did he call out to the Hamburgalar when he finished?
chillandfun 12
Should have gone to Wendy's.
steam_engenius 21
I see everyone saying she should have helped him finish...but do we know if he even helped her? Maybe it was painful or something and she was upset. Either way, she's not obligated to do anything.