Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, starting to get intimate with him, when one of his friends walked into the room, grabbed my leg, and pulled me onto the floor. His reason? He was hungry and wanted to go to McDonald's. FML
Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML
Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML
Today, my boyfriend crashed his car while I was giving him road head. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebee's for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked, "How was it?" he says, "It was terrible", to which I said, "The food was that bad?" He replies, "No, the sex". FML
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML
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Top comments
PrimeEvilTahir 24
Not so happy meal..
stryder9090 28
He's loving it
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Comments (86)
SmittyJA24 26
Car sex is quite over-rated.
IceMan11 23
Something about special sauce.
buckdharma 38
Awww, he added nuts to your hot fudge sundae!
DrCheese 16
Did it get on the fries!? Dammit...
joshi42 16
See? That's the problem - when you don't suck on time, something else does.
justinccp 8
Agree with #19 How else can you finish? Lol
xluciferx666 21
So he was not bada ba ba baby lovin it?
logicrules 11
Hopefully he took the food out first. Mind you it's already in your milkshake.
shitcreeksurvr 13
Note to self: do not eat lunch while reading FML's
NakNak_fml 10
I guess you guys didn't have the drive to keep it up.