Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened, I slipped and fell in the shower, and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered, "Well, she's masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML
Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
Today, I fell in the shower and knocked myself out. When I came to I turned off the water and called my mom. She seemed more worried about the amount of water I "wasted" than she was about me. FML
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML
Today, while I was getting a blowjob from my girlfriend in the shower, my mom stood outside the door the whole time, asking me about my day. My girlfriend never stopped going, and my mom, who was unaware that my girl was with me in the shower, is now getting me tested for speech impairment. FML
Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
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Top comments
name2notforget 0
well...were you while you fell in the shower?
xMrAndyTranx 4
Your mom knows what's up with young people these days
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Comments (87)
piwikiwi93 0
I don't even think my mom knows what masturbating is!
Human_Caterpilla 10
Well, she definitely has had sex before. So I'm pretty sure she at least knows what it is.
BullletProof 5
sux, but you kinda deserve it for being a wuss and moaning cuz you fell. Seriously. I'm a 15 year old girl and I dont cry when i get shot in the face with a paintball from 5 feet away. SUCK IT UP
Mira Lux 26
Good for you for having a high pain tolerance. But don't tell OP to suck it up, for all we know OP could have a low pain tolerance.
youknowimright 5
hahaha peter griffen sitting on the ground sighing for longer than necessary... like you
Aligator67 12
So glad my mom doesn't do that.
XxxT3rr4xxX 25
Hey your mom is cool she has a sense of humor
J15237 25
Well that could lead to a fun conversation later if you like the guy a lot.