Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened, I slipped and fell in the shower, and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered, "Well, she's masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML
Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
Today, I fell in the shower and knocked myself out. When I came to I turned off the water and called my mom. She seemed more worried about the amount of water I "wasted" than she was about me. FML
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML
Today, while I was getting a blowjob from my girlfriend in the shower, my mom stood outside the door the whole time, asking me about my day. My girlfriend never stopped going, and my mom, who was unaware that my girl was with me in the shower, is now getting me tested for speech impairment. FML
Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
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Top comments
name2notforget 0
well...were you while you fell in the shower?
xMrAndyTranx 4
Your mom knows what's up with young people these days
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Comments (87)
perdix 31
I don't see why you are complaining -- your mom made that guy even hotter for you! Must be nice having your mom also being your pimp.
Marcelb 17
LOLL @ pimp
davids123 0
lol i want to meet your mum she sounds awsome haa
Newbie21 1
FYL
holaworld 0
that is sooo fuckimg hilarious!!!!
dummydory 4
LMAO!!! Don't worry he probably got a nice image of you in his head and maybe he'll ask you out on a date real soon.
iluvfmls456 0
Omgg I love dory!!!!:D
weezybaby22 0
your moms ok with you masterbating?!
HisBabyGirl4ever 0
Most moms are Coz they're NOT ready to be grandma..:) Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Smartypanties 0
such an open minded mom you've gotten!!!
fuckinglifehard 0
Why is this an FML? Your mum just scored major points for you. i wish my mum would accept my masturbation addiction, but she doesnt. So you are one lucky bitch.
im_da_man 5
i agree with all the people that say that your mom just did u a favor.
HyperExecuter 0
well, op, this is a funny post, if completely untrue. first, wouldn't you like scream I suprise, or cry if it hurt... but moan? I don't think so. and if you were "moaning", how would you hear your Mom say that? plus, I know some would, but the odds that ur mom would say that are very low. this is a good fml, but there is no doubt it is fake.
Marcelb 17
who said she heard her mom saying it? mom could've told her afterwards, or the guy could have. do you not have any sense of logic?