Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML
Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML
Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML
Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else - a giant glob of snot, directly at my face. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML
Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed with a pedestal fan on facing us when my boyfriend sneezed. Where did he sneeze? Into the fan, which then sprayed it all over my face. FML
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Top comments
TurtleGenius 0
Probably the best feeling she got all night...
Phillay632 0
Pull out and spray a bodily fluid all over her face and neck, you're even.
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Comments (135)
BHS2010 0
LOL i was making my own website then i got to FML and this was the first thing i read!!!! ppl should check out the site at http://nevershouthoe.webs.com/ its kinda dumb but wat eves
iamphlybry 0
haha you got bukkaked by a chick
nikki1001 0
Haha, this sounds like something that would happen to me and my bf. Luckily, we'd both have a good laugh about it. Although the thought of snot...well, yeah, that is a little gross actually. Anyway, try doggie next time!!! Snot won't be anywhere near you
SweetestSin 4
I would have normally laughed at this and I did the first time I heard Ron White say it during his comedy show.
upintheorange 5
well, people sneezing on other people is not that uncommon of a thing.
jumpgurl23 0
#6 lmao! well now you know what its like to have bodily fluids squirted on your face...
DarkSilence 0
Hahaha well ya know a sneeze is only 1/8th of an ****** so according to my calculations you got aways to go. Or maybe she's allergic to your dick. Whichever one you wanna go with.
wysie 0
Lol. Both of you will remember this moment for a long time to come :p.
fmyoptical 0
ew dude. you gotta recognize the difference.
Lauriebug 0
I kind of hope she gets pregnant and this is the story you eventually tell your child of his/her conception. Awesome? yes.
missus_butter 0
Semen and snot are similar in terms of bodily fluids. Getting semen on a girl's face isn't a big deal, is it? And it's not like she meant to do it. Be a man and stop acting like this was even a big deal. It's only a bitch if it gets in your hair.