Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML
Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML
Today, I tried kissing my boyfriend on the tip of his nose. He sneezed mid-kiss and headbutted me. Now, there's just an awkward silence. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML
Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML
Today, in the middle of asking my girlfriend to marry me, I sneezed so hard that I farted. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
yoursavinggrace 0
Aw, you guys are so disgusting together.
0___0 9
lol keep that to yourself next time :~
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (53)
cndrow 0
That's.. so weird and so endearing at the same time. Sounds like myself and my love. -__-
ilovefatcats 12
that's so…nasty :@
yoursavinggrace 0
Aw, you guys are so disgusting together.
xtfauthorx 0
hey! it's true love!!
0___0 9
lol keep that to yourself next time :~
Megstah 0
awh true love haha
zzz_fml 0
cute!
duckpsy 2
Hahah #3
saffire89 0
you guys are so gross together its not really cute, glad you accept eachother
MukyDaCookie 0
UUGGHH!!!!! Wow! She was ok with it? If someone sneezed a glob of snot of me, I would freak out and probably not go near them for a while.
hobosaresexy 0
aww you're a prude. I've done embarassing stuff like that with my boyfriend and neither of us care. we're comfortable with each other.
clairebear1234 0
Ohh. Thats a bit gross. At least you guys are on the same page though..
NicGstfsn23 0
aw thats kinda cute.. in a awkward wayy