Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML
Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML
Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML
Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else - a giant glob of snot, directly at my face. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML
Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed with a pedestal fan on facing us when my boyfriend sneezed. Where did he sneeze? Into the fan, which then sprayed it all over my face. FML
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Top comments
TurtleGenius 0
Probably the best feeling she got all night...
Phillay632 0
Pull out and spray a bodily fluid all over her face and neck, you're even.
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Comments (135)
AndrewPao32 0
This is from Ron White's new Comedy Central special.
Drunkbunny 2
Maybe she's allergic... to NO FOREPLAY!
tacoma77 0
lol shoulda punched her in the back of the head. did she at least make u a sandwhich?
rachel_potter 13
that's ******* sexist, I bet you're single
Richieq212 0
how is that a fml if i was ******* a girl im into and she sneezed me personaly i woldnt care. and she would probobly try harder after that
ohhhhshizzz 0
Pahah, 1, 2 & 3 got moderated. They were stupid anyway :) OP: that is soo gross, but that would be so embarrasing.
beastmaster82 0
Well, since you're sharing other bodily fluids, I can't understand why that is such an FML. I mean, if she shit herself on accident while riding you, now THAT is an FML.
shardsofmetal 0
#31: I saw that special, and I don't remember this. How far in was it?
ThisRandomChild 0
'How far in was it?' (giggity)
jamesyboii 0
so i'm assuming all the ladies saying "so a guy can come on a girl's face but a girl can't sneeze on a guy?" WOULD in fact let a guy come on their face otherwise they're some hypocritical bitches. and #24 sperm does not in fact contain mucus you should look things up before you post them on the internet OP-sorry about that one man
truslide 0
psh you thought you were good
Frisco_fml 0
And that's why you should do it doggystyle