Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were both at home, sick. We decided to make the best of it and spent the day in bed together. Things got a little steamy, and we started making out. As I started kissing her neck, I got nauseous. Before I could pull away, I threw up all over her. FML
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Top comments
Devindelon 17
So, I'm guessing there was no need for oil.
icedexplosion 19
Was it sexy?
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Comments (125)
icedexplosion 19
Was it sexy?
_cameronkc_ 17
idk bout you guys but that kinda makes me hard ¯_(ツ)_/¯
MetalxSoldier 26
She must be giving him the good old Deluxe R. Kelly backrub.
kangx1 28
OP I feel you... My girlfriend and I had sex in the cow girl position and as she climaxed she drenched me in urine... I have learnt having sex with a full bladder may intensify it but it's not worth it
FluffyPandas156 13
I guess she thought you liked golden showers haha
Dramori 29
Some guys pay for that!
luverofakatsuki 16
#93 I doubt it was urine. she probably just gushed all over you. its similar to a squirter. its not actual urine
Gaernem 17
#111 When females squirt it's the same as urine.
Devindelon 17
So, I'm guessing there was no need for oil.
EvilLittleGirl 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
they didn't need any.
PleaseTickleUs 7
is that not what Devquan said
YourOpinionSucks 22
It's like one of those moments when you're taking an epic shit, and then you realize it just turned into a shower.
AnalAssassin1 14
#75 ... Wtf?
enginsteve 17
oh shit! Its anal assassin!
Matteo_xxi 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I think you two have differing ideas on what 'Sexy' is ;)
ComoEsJuan 24
Now you just have to take a shower together to get clean. Go with it, man!
KuzzBuzz3 15
Did you at least say "bless you"?
moliknz 26
Oh poor girl! I hope she isn't too embarrassed.
WattledParsley 11
Love the cat
CDobs 8
Sounds like urine quite a predicament
waffleeater_153 14
It could have been poop...
Acacia21 23
Are you ready for the funk!?
pugpuggy 21
... Because uptown funk gon' give it to yah!
the_fanciest_man 15
Minor setback if you ask me.
nlow79 3
well no need to get all pissy about it. she meant good...