Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML
Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML
Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML
Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else - a giant glob of snot, directly at my face. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML
Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed with a pedestal fan on facing us when my boyfriend sneezed. Where did he sneeze? Into the fan, which then sprayed it all over my face. FML
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Top comments
TurtleGenius 0
Probably the best feeling she got all night...
Phillay632 0
Pull out and spray a bodily fluid all over her face and neck, you're even.
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Comments (135)
rocket9 0
uh oh
AntiChrist7 0
you got laid, so the problem is..... YDI for whining about it
Ktulu 0
pretty lame you don't know the difference between panting and a sneeze..
Rht2925 0
Your old enough to have sex but you can't even spell cum?
Sessee 4
Uh... agreed with #7. But then again, your girlfriend is retarded for not covering her mouth.
moodyreallyrocks 27
Hi….
hahaha6 0
Uh, Gross! She couldn't have at least turned the other way?
rukusrazor 0
1) I bet she 'gripped' read nice and tight when she sneezed 2) Ooooh! Reverse money shot!
girl_fml 0
a sneeze is one fifth of a ******...
snoopy24_fml 0
i wish i knew what the first few people said... that's gross, yet INCREDIBLY funny
BrannFYR 0
well, you're bound to get DNA on you one way or another during sex...