Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML
Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML
Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML
Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML
Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, I made a healthy, delicious dinner. My girlfriend picked at it until it went cold, then stuck it in the fridge. Later, she devoured a giant bowl of sugary cereal, then complained all night that her stomach hurt. This happens a lot. FML
Today, my wife ate nothing all day due to her morning sickness, but I tried to get her to eat something light, for our baby's sake. I brought her a banana. She yelled at me for being a "pervert" and accused me of just wanting to watch her stick a phallic object in her mouth. FML
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DntLookBack 29
And that is when you beat his ass.. Don't mess with a pregnant lady's food!
darkmis1 18
Make him buy you more. He's not the one carrying a baby that needs to eat as well.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (59)
avaeba 14
That's rough. I spent my first trimester propped up in bed, since just about everything set off my morning sickness at one time or another. If your stomach is too weak for ginger or lemon-lime soda, rehydrate with ice-water and fresh, non-acidic fruit and veggies like honey-dew, cucumber, or cantaloupe, along with the salty snacks your husband will hopefully replace. It's harder to get sick on cold foods that don't smell as strong, plus- super healthy for you and baby. Hope you get to feeling better!
CharDee 15
Congrats on the baby! ....But kick his butt for eating all the food. Ya don't mess with a pregnant lady's food.
zen1979 16
"...and that's when I had to kill him, Your Honor....."
limitedition 25
He's really just being a super supportive husband - he doesn't want you gaining a ton of weight & feeling huge by yourself - he's doing his best to gain his 20 some pounds too!
ninaskyez 12
Aws how sad! Now he should cook for you to make it up!!:)
chrisp87 11
Guess you better find a hiding stop for future references FYI OP.
shayundead 9
:( ive had this fml moment here recently.
Omniprism 15
I would be super pissed.
spunkylady 24
Sad, that really does suck. I was sick my whole pregnancy with my daughter and I would've punched Nu husband if he ate snacks I stowed away for morning sickness
Marblecakelolz 11
Maybe he had the munchies?