Today, I woke up to my mom calling me. I'm 90 miles away, staying at my cousin's. Someone shit on the windshield of her car, and she is blaming my friends, and is pissed at me who is out of town, and my friends who I believe were driving to a out of state concert. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a car accident. When I came home, I told my mom. She just got angry with me, blamed me for it, and didn't even ask if I was OK. FML
Today, my mother told me I'm forbidden from hanging out with one of my friends. This happened after she was with us in a parking lot, and one of mom's smartass coworkers blasted his horn at us from a parked car to jolt us. My friend had a screaming breakdown; she has PTSD from losing her dad and sister in a car crash. FML
Today, my roommate called me, but she's a cunt so I ignored her. A few hours later, I found out her mom and dad were in a serious car accident and she needed a ride to go see them at the hospital. FML
Today, my mom let my younger brother borrow my car. He managed to crash it through the garage door. While I was in another country. Somehow, I manage to get berated by my mom because I'm not doing enough to make my brother feel better about him having an accident involving my car and my house. FML
Today, I came home to see my house trespassed, vandalized, and looted by my cousin, whom I have always hated, and his friends. As I get the cops to haul them to jail, he got kicked out from home for the Nth time and said my mom invited them. When I confronted my mom about it, she dismissed it saying, "He's family!" FML
Today, I left a concert with my drunk mother who had spilled beer all over my shirt. I drove her home and she slept it off. Later, my mom "found" my shirt in the laundry and grounded me for drinking behind her back. She won't believe me that it was her. FML
Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML
Today, my family was leaving for a weekend trip and was supposed to pick me up on the way down. About an hour before they are supposed to arrive, my mom calls to tell me that there's no room left in the car, so they won't be stopping to get me. FML
Today, my mom drove my car and had to make a U-turn on a narrow street. Instead of slowing down, she sped up to turn, running off the road and denting my car. To make things worse, she blamed me for not giving her good directions, then followed that up with, "It's not that bad." FML
Today, I decided to drive my mothers Bentley. She is out of town and told me not to go near the car. Being 17, I didn't listen. As I was backing out the driveway, I was hit by an SUV, seriously damaging my moms car. Who was driving the SUV? My mom, coming home early. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Why can't your friends have shit on your mom's car? Your being 90 miles away has nothing to do with it. The real question is: why are you friends with people who shit on cars? Sorry if I sound like a snob, but I prefer people who shit on other people's lawns.
poopface82 25
Maybe she’s pissed off because you were the only thing keeping them from ******** on her car.
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
Why can't your friends have shit on your mom's car? Your being 90 miles away has nothing to do with it. The real question is: why are you friends with people who shit on cars? Sorry if I sound like a snob, but I prefer people who shit on other people's lawns.
whackman56789 7
You need to reread the post. Nowhere does it say his friends actually did it. His mother was blaming his friends without any actual evidence
poopface82 25
Maybe she’s pissed off because you were the only thing keeping them from ******** on her car.
DLBL 23
This is why I don't have any bumper stickers or a vanity plate. Ass hats love to express themselves in shitty ways, especially if one advertises one's opinion.