Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML
Today, I met my new girlfriend's teenage son for the first time. His first words were, "So you're the guy who has been banging my mom." The rest of the evening he kept asking what we have done and if his mom was good at it. She thought it was awfully funny to hear me tell her son how she was in bed. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML
Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
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Top comments
InuYasha17 0
Awkward... o_o
Chunchunchun 3
Need to chew your boyfriend out for that...
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Comments (130)
triggerit 5
op your bf is an idiot.... his father is an idiot twice...
AtrumMessor 1
YDI for dating the kind of douche who would discuss your "private" life so crassly with his dad...
partyman007 0
so are you?
phorcep 0
I get this weird feeling that your boyfriend and his father live in a trailer down by the river and watch lots of NASCAR.
ajilocks 0
how does he know?
remy3106 10
either he heard them or the bf told the dad
Daerauko 0
lol she starred in a ****?
skyeyez9 25
OP, leave now! The dad sounds like a creeper. Seriously, a normal parent does not say something like that to their child's bf or gf.
oldenuff2party 3
sounds to me like the dad wants a piece
Danizike 0
If I were you I'd start slowly walking away at that point...
scooter69 0
that's awkward...
5t3ff1k4h 47
Icebreaker. Either your boyfriend's dishing out way too much information, or you were too loud one of those nights at his house.