Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML
Today, I was going out with my boyfriend after recently coming out. On my way out the door, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Suck that dick like a champ tonight, son." FML
Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML
Today, my boyfriend's dad came onto me. I was shocked and awkwardly tried to exit the situation. My boyfriend then sprang out and started shouting at me. Apparently, it was a "test" to see if I would still be attracted to him in 30 years. I failed. What. The. Fuck. FML
Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML
Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML
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Top comments
damadrappa 4
Someones jealous
GuitarFail123 9
wow... thats umm interesting to say the least....
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Comments (239)
GuitarFail123 9
wow... thats umm interesting to say the least....
LiveLaughFML 10
FYL if OP's dad looked like #1s picture and said it was the same facial expression!
Savra_fml 17
25, good point, but OPs boyfriends' dad said a real man, not a constipated one.
bugmenotmofo 34
Sounds like dad wants to hook that up.
ijustcametosay 8
Man, that is just completely screwed up all over! Can't imagine my dad ever saying that to my girlfriend, I think I'd kill him.
somewizdom 15
I think he just meant he'll dick-slap you hard.. That's what real men do right?
CryMoreFMLs 15
I'd be more worried about the husband's willingness to cheat on his wife.
SUEHIM 0
No ******* Sherlock?
Supascruggs 1
He may not be, or ever have been married.
leogirl95 12
Uncle Rico's voice: "Just stop wishin' and call me when you're ready."
gojira666 7
Class act I see.
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
78- yes mr. Watson
cherry72 13
How do u know the dad is married? And that is creepy! My ex father in law was like that... And I don't miss the uncomfortable situations when we were ever alone. (puke)
Jovecove 13
134 - what did he do to you? ;)
alazae 0
Lmao omgg
freelove_fml 2
My dad tries to **** my every GF. I'm not even annoyed anymore, just tired.
zebraface123 6
200- well that's a problem...
Twincest 11
Now you have to try them both at the same time to see if he's right! Awesome threesome!! :D
lillypatter 13
Is he married? :(
damadrappa 4
Someones jealous
rayrayray23 1
Thanks mister obvious (:
Epikouros 32
Yep, I'm jealous. I wish I had a boyfriend, and a real man on the side!
Meme1988 18
He is just creeeepy!!
EvilPotato 15
Yep, the dad put OP in an hard spot, if she does tell the boyfriend he'll hate the dad and might never talk/and/or/see him again, but if she doesn't all family gatherings will be really awkward.
Buttsexpirate 9
"This is Chris Hansen and I would like you to just take a seat over there. Why am I a talking ass all of a sudden? Well why are you a pedophile? Exactly now just take your seat."
jonn090 13
I think she should just inject the father with the bacteria than she'll get a real men
McAninch35 9
Ah, yes 67. The solution is obvious now.
beckybecks20 8
That's kinky.
ajpopoca88 3
im sorry thats gross
Blissfull_Sin 7
I agree.. That's not an fml moment!! That's a wtf moment!!!
nikChick447 6
woah. thatd be awkward..?
belkinbra 12
Seriously call me though.
MrBoredGuy 1
Doesn't matter had sex.
lakaiskate 12
I want to like your comment but it's at 69 at the moment and that number is perfect for this FML
FWWHGYPSY 3
Lol, but maybe, just maybe her boyfriend is younger than her and her boyfriends dad is young. Or the dad is just a cruel horny bastard
chocoski 0
Massage?
Poetaster 10
No thank you. But hanks for offering!
KK3137 31
Just a question, why is God a higher priority than your family?
SirEBC 7
Why is commenting about something completely irrelevant to the FML a higher priority than using the private messaging system that was put in place to prevent jackasses like you from doing so?
kirsty1551 3
seeeeddyyy;)
SexyHindu 2
Niceee;) I'd take the offer
Savra_fml 17
Need to get an offer first mate. Bet you are wishing you were the OP now, aren't you?
CryMoreFMLs 15
So you would take up another man's offer to f*** him, and you're also male? Peferences... i suppose...
elliotg14 0
You would take anyone's offer because your one that would cheat lieing bitch
chocol8m 6
Ew....
Skater5679 4
He wants you to keep it in the family!
Meme1988 18
Lol!! They are a keepers !
Thabb 0
What can a real man do, then?
Savra_fml 17
Real manly stuff.....like hitting on his kids girlfriend.
Daralea 21
Open a jar of pickles
ShakeMeDown 12
Spit, buy tires... shoot shit. The usual.
rachelkoo 10
that;s manly!
Stealth_Void 4
Did you call him..?
FYLDeep 26
Nah, I think she rainbow dashed away.
FYLDeep 26
Nah, I think she rainbow dashed away.
MyMilkShake2Yard 0
Yea she called him over to make her a sammich
brown4lifejot 1
Op should have said "When I find another boyfriend ill be sure to mention it
Treezy_Tha_Troll 3
IT'S SPELLED "SANDWICH", NOT "SAMMICH" U FAKE TROLL. U MAD BRO??
hahahayeahright 5
Hmm pedo much??
Savra_fml 17
Hmm....no, not really. If she is old enough to **** the son, she is old enough for the father.
Shadow_Phantom 26
Uh, no, not really. Most kids these days lose it at around 14-16, which, is definitely not old enough.
DjeePee 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
But having sex with a 14/16-year old =/= pedophile. Only if OP is a child (less than 12 year old, no boobs, no periods, no pubic or armpit hair...), the father would be a pedo. Which I doubt. Also, I don't think that we have the right to judge what's definitely not old enough. If both sides agree to have sex and are aware of the consequences, I don't see a single problem.
FYLDeep 26
Okay technically you're correct, but as long as she's a minor then it would still count as rape to **** her, regardless of anyone's interperation of who a pedophile is. Besides like what #24 originally said, if she's old enough to **** the son, she's old enough to **** the dad. If she's a minor then technically she qualifies for neither.
krnpanda 2
Yeah that nonsense wont fly in court.
arin2009 0
Actually it legal in most states after 16 to **** anyone of any age.
icefshng8 9
16 is the age of consent. If OP is 16 or older she can **** whoever she damn wants!
ShroomsOnAcid 17
59, The statutory rape issue is a tricky one, and I am not sure which side I agree with more, since they both make valid points, but let us remember that it is only rape LEGALLY, and legality does not imply morality. Also, I don't see where it says that OP's boyfriend is over 18. They could both be 16, for example. Hell, they could even both be 12, however unlikely that might be.
Llamassss 21
A person 24 years of age or older who engages in sexual activity with a person 16 or 17 years of age commits a felony of the second degree. This is Florida law, the OP is from Florida. So if the OP is 17 or younger it is illegal for the dad to have sex with his son's girlfriend. Does not matter if it is consensual or not.
killa_k0d3 1
Or maybe it's a 16 yo state then it's legit
TheNewGuy03 29
Man, why is this even being discussed? If you're a 40-something male porking a 16-year-old, it's ******* wrong. >.> |the kid|
HeavyRainxx 0
Agree
jizzwold 21
I disagree with much of what has become the social norms. As far as I'm concerned once a Human has reached sexual maturity they are fair game for anyone. What the father did is still bad though cause he tried to steal op from his son.
Jesus_Christ69 0
Soooo creepy..
Jdimp 1
you said it Jesus
iliketurdles 7
You forgot to do the 80's both gun finger point!
KingaScr 0
dude i love tht pic its sickkkkkk