Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML
Today, I met my new girlfriend's teenage son for the first time. His first words were, "So you're the guy who has been banging my mom." The rest of the evening he kept asking what we have done and if his mom was good at it. She thought it was awfully funny to hear me tell her son how she was in bed. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML
Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
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Top comments
InuYasha17 0
Awkward... o_o
Chunchunchun 3
Need to chew your boyfriend out for that...
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Comments (130)
TIMCOOK 0
so are you a screamer? tmi
justsayfuck 5
Stop screaming. It's unneccesary.
allenrotstein 0
so i guess you haven't had a real deal ****** yet.. It will happen eventually, and you'll find out what the screams are for...
justsayfuck 5
So I guess you've only had sex with fakers.
remy3106 10
55 made me lol
Melissa92_fml 13
#55. hahah nicee
foreverspellman 0
definitely could have casually responded with "I fake it". not much to say to that unless the dude is real creepy.
musicmaniac925 0
I agree 17 ftw
mini8_fml 0
awkward!!
thita_babiee 0
if my boyfriends dad told me that then i'd feel sooo awkward haha
emmmmmma_fml 0
argh, what a perverted dad lol have fun with that.. ;) ;) ;)
nikkired 0
You should have touched yourself then rubbed it under his nose while you showed him your forearm sized sex toy and say yes, why do you ask.
spyder1588 0
haha 27. I can just imagine the look he'd have on his face. lol
perdix 31
Was he a DILF? If so, the son was kind of stupid to advertise your features to him.
meagy 6
Dad wants in.
Domonator 16
...and out.
americuzz 8
lol:)
Haterman123 0
that's kinda creepy how did the conversation go